I just don't like penetrative sex - is this weird, a problem with my partner, is anyone else like me?

[qumquat]

My partner and I get on like a house on fire. We are very touchy feely and cuddly but we very rarely get boyond kissing nowadays, and when we do (once a month maybe) it's oral sex, which we both enjoy. I can't bear the thought of penetrative sex though, and have never really enjoyed it. This has been fine with him as he prefers oral sex too, but now I really want to start a family, and am facing the thought that maybe we should split up, and maybe I'd like to have sex with someone I fancied more (he was a 'safe' rather than a passion choice on my part, possibly a major mistake, but from small beginnings I love him more every day), or should I be grateful I've found a man who doesn't pressure me for sex, and try to lie back and think of the babies??? Sorry I know I sound a real idiot. I just don't know which way to turn.

I don't think it's unusual to prefer oral sex over penetrative sex and it isn't necessarily a problem. Did you enjoy penetration with previous partners? I don't think I'd leave an otherwise good relationship over this as you both seem to be happy with it.

However if you haven't always been this way do you think it could be psychologically that you dont on some level want children with this man? There are ways to get pregnant without penetration if that's what you want.

I think it's lovely that you've found someone you are so compatible with in this way. If you're really not interested in sex and never have been, it's possible that's just who you are. If you're happy together I wouldn't risk that - it's different story if you're not happy of course. But if the only reason you're thinking about possibly splitting and finding someone else is because you're worried that not liking penetrative sex is so abnormal that it can't be true then relax - plenty of people don't like it. It's a small section of the population but it's accepted on the range of normal. Have you seen the Aven forums? Even if you don't identify as asexual it sounds as though you might find some threads there helpful.

As nurseblade says, there are ways of getting pregnant without sex - turkey baster comes to mind How do you think same-sex couples manage? :) I haven't looked but it seems as though you might find something relating to this on Aven as well if you were to search.