MIL and mind games

[Skinit]

Is this passive agressive behaviour? She's here staying in an apartment nearby for one month...she lives overseas. Basically she involves herself in the minutae of our every day lives.

She arrives at 8.30am and stays till' 7.30 or so....she is just IN my face for hours.

Today we all went out...me her and DH with our 2 dc.

At one point we split up as DH was going to pay for a new TV...she has forced given hr opinion on what TV we should get to DH obsessivly for the last 2 days and when I interject with my opinion she blanks me...it's as though I never spoke.

Ayway...DH went to pay for the TV but the DC were tired and wanted home. So MIL and I got a cab and went home. Arriving home I realised DH had my key and my phone...he had taken them from me this morning while I did something with our DD and I forgot to ask for them back.

So MiL calls DH on her phone and then when I ask her questions as to where he is and will he be home soon, she blanks me! Totally ignores me and looks down fiddling with her fcking phone.

I had to say "MIL! MIL...what did he say?" about four times and she is NOT deaf.

then when DH comes in...she starts planning the fucking evening meal with him!

"Oh shall we cook that steak?"

I don't give a shit if he's her son...this is my house, my kitchen and my fridge.....I at least should be included in he conversation.

DH does include me when she does this but he won't admit she's doing anything wrong...he makes out she doesn't "know" what she's doing.

There are other things...this is just the last few hours.

What can I do? I end up sulking and getting in a snapy mood and DH gets pissed off with me and we argue.

Yes - I have been thinking of mailing her before she comes with a nice chatty sort of welcome mail, with sort of routines mentioned in it; eg bedtimes for the kids, what time we eat and the fact she is getting my room and ensuite and other stuff. I really not looking forwards to it, DP is a lovely man but a block head and he just doesn't notice things. When do we get time to chat and catch up with each other, and argue and make up? I keep thinking that the kids will be sneaked off me too, that the bedtime stories will be stolen from me.....arcgh going mad already and poor MIL not here yet!

I have to say in MIL defense that she adores my two DS's and is a really lovely granny.
Sorry rant over!

No! You MUST set the guidelines for bedtime in STONE from the word go!

I learned the hard way about this...I let MIL take over...as she was all "Oh I'd better make the most of this" and I let her do baths and everything...utter nightmare when she left as their routines were a mess.

Also its not grannies job!

You'll have to do t from day one....come in and say "Say goodnight to granny now...I'm taing you up to bed"

If she makes noises about joining in...or "Helping" with bedtime stories be very firm...."No thanks...I think it's best we stick to normal routines"

And do NOT devate....if she moans then arrange a spcial granny storytime downstairs only.

If I sound full on it's because my MIL actually swiped nappies out of my hand with my newborn DD...she actually wrestled with me over bedding!

Nuts.

About not speaking to DH or having time with him...can you go out with him once a week?

My MIL also LOVES my kids...but not me! So the way I see it is tough...you do as I say regarding the kids!

Absolutely right. For a three month visit -- routines in stone. That's a good idea about a special storytime downstairs but really three months is lifechanging so be firm.

Can your husband visit you MIL with the children one weekend so you can have a break from it all and not have to see her. Also parks muesums libarys the sea side and farms if you live near any are usually always free :)