Name changed :)
DH and I have been married for a year, together for 5. I was married before and have primary school aged children. DH has an adult child that he doesnt really have much of a relationship with as his mother (openly admitted) to getting PG by him on purpose and then did everything she could to make sure that they didnt have a relationship. SO far, so boring!
I am expecting our first child together in 2 months. To all intents and purposes, this might aswell be DHs first child as he had no involvement with his other childs pg or birth or babyhood as he didnt know of the child existence til he was older. He really wanted us to TTC and is very excited about the baby, we were talking about it the other night and he said that he is really looking forward to it. You could see he genuinely meant it.
We always had a very good and active sex life although it did tail off a bit in the 6 months or so before we got married where we traded quantity for quality as neither of us was getting much out of quickies. That was fine.
Then I got pg and WHAM!! NO SEX.
I was sleeping loads but I was still up for it at our regular times but he wasnt. Once we did it but he was struggling with his erection which has never happened before. Since then we have managed it once a month and only after I have talked to him about how I feel rejected and that just because I am pg doesnt mean that we cant have sex. He says that it is nothing to do with the pregnancy but makes excuses like I am tired and he doesnt want to bother me. I say that that isnt an excuse when I am asking to be bothered! So he will do it once and then not touch me again for weeks. I have stopped approaching him as I get so upset at being rejected or worse, ignored by him pretending to be asleep.
He recently said something though that makes me think that he just doesnt fancy me anymore and that he sees me as a mother not a sexy woman. I was making a joke about my bras not fitting anymore and wiggled my jubblies at him when we were getting ready for bed and said "oooh what do you think? Should Jordan be worried?!" and he said "you cant say things like that, you are going to be a mother FFS!" . He didnt say it in a nasty way but in an eyes rolling, slightly smiley way. A year ago he would have started playing with them and dot dot dot. I said that I was already a mother, and had been for some years and it didnt used to bother him, again not in a nasty way and he just shrugged and said "I suppose so" and went to bed.
So I went downstairs again and cried and slept on the sofa. Which I accept may be OTT but ffs I am sick of being rejected and feeling that he would rather eat his own feet than have sex with me. :(
Will he get over this or am ~I destined for another dead marriage with no sex? My ex went off sex after we got married, I am amazed we conceived 2 children, and by the time we split we hadnt slept together in 5 years. It was the first step in the end of our marriage as we lost closeness and ended up with no physicallity at all, no hugs kisses etc.
I dont want to live like that again but equally I dont want another failed marriage. I have talked to him several times and as I say, he does one "duty" shag and then thats it. I really cant face talking to him again because I would feel humiliated at him doing it just to keep me quiet.
I am sick of feeling unattractive and unwanted :(