Ive come to realize just what an abusive relationship I was in with exh. I also feel proud of myself for getting out when I did ( im in a foreign land and had 3 kids and no family or support).I thank god for the DH I have now,He was my shoulder to cry on and emotional support when the bs hit the fan with exh (even though he wasnt in the same country as I was).
I want to tell people on here that if I could do it then they too can do it.It was the hardest but best thing I ever did.Im happier my kids are happier and they didnt get emotionally or physically fcked up.Though it was VERY tough at the time,trying to do what I thought was for the best I like to think I managed it well :).I have 3 emotionally stable, sound teenagers.
It is a bit of a revelation though about the abuse,I knew it wasn't right but had no idea that it was actually classed as abuse ( apart from the hitting ).I had put it all behind me years ago but since coming on here and having what happened to me "named" I feel so much more at peace,It wasn't me.I really wasn't "screwed up",I didn't really "need help". It wasn't" all my own fault "( I knew the bruises were not, but the rest ....)
THANK YOU ladies for putting a" tough old broads" mind at ease and making her feel justified, I guess, in her choices