Setting the OW straight

[alonely]

Are there any circumstances in which you would contact OW?

to wish her good luck maybe?

No, its never going to end well. What can you possibly say/do that would make it any better?

Um, vengeance? Have been taunted about whether she was just a friend or not for a couple of years, and finally thought if it's EA then that is enough. He did lots of awful things and continues to threaten stuff. I feel like forwarding his communications to her ...

Only to tell her about DD3's allergies.
DD2's sore ear that needs syringing but whilst awaiting an appt she will also need a hot water bottle & lot's of attention from her daddy at bedtime.
DD1's obsession with Glee just to remind the OW that whilst MY DH is dealing with earache/homework at 7.30pm OW can't even watch the TV because DD1 will need the remote because she is traumatized (at the age of 9)

Also what home work needs to be completed during their weekend with daddy, a sugar cube pyramid & a space ship made from gold dust.

Can't think of any ither reason right now.

Do you mean he is with her, even though he still maintains it was just an EA?

What is he threatening?

...and what are "his communications to her"?

You need to explain the situation more clearly, OP

Lol at theslerpfairy - that's brilliant! I would definitely do that!

I would only contact the OW if my husband was not living with her and only if i got tested for STD's and i needed to inform her to get tested.

I'm a beliver that if someone cheats then its in their nature and he/she will do it again at some point.

Sometimes the OW will have contact with your children so if at all possible i would try to aim for civil at all times.

But as i have never been cheaten on i think if i was then i would go for vengence as thats the type of person i am and i dont think i could stop myself. I would inform her that the guy she is with is married and has children. If she know then she is fair game in my book.

surely the person who needs to set the OW straight is your partner not you? If he has finished with her I wouldn't dignify her by contacting her - unless you feel he is being dishonest and want proper answers. I certainly wouldnt contact her to tell her back off or go away - that's a conversation to have with the man who actually owes you commitment.

If they are still in touch - thats his fault, not hers.

just don't do anything that makes you look desperate

only to drop his skiddy pants round!

I wouldn't bother.

I'd be saying to him

"you do know that I keep everything you email, text or otherwise communicate to me, don't you? You really should bear that in mind. I will be keeping it all safe in case I ever need it for any reason."

But I'm a bitch

sometimes leaving someone with the fear of what you could do is far, far better than actually doing anything. They torture themselves far better than you ever could.

And let's face it, is it the other woman or the man you were in a relationship with who really deserves your anger?

I'm not sure of the set up here, so can't really advise.

Loving what TheSleepFairy suggests

alonely i think you can act like you don't give an arse even if you don't feel like that. Ignore her, she is of no consequence now you know she exists. You may even have cause to (privately) thank her one day .

I never have. It's been tempting, but I think my maintaining a radio silence has probably been more unnerving for her than me phoning to rant. Plus I like retaining some of the moral high ground which I fear I'd lose if I got to let rip at her