My mum is a lovely person...when she's sober. She's very protective of me, helps me out in hard times etc. The trouble is, she's not sober very often. She still works at the moment but obviously I cant call her at work too much.
I've learnt that its pointless calling her after 6.30 at night as she'll be slurring and wont remember a word i've said. Apart from the fact that she's diabetic and I have to watch her slowly killing herself with alcohol, she's horrible when she's drunk. She puts me down, accuses me of allsorts. When she's sober she's proud of me, when she's drunk i'm a terrible mum, my kids are terrified of me and I keep our dog in a cage 24/7 apparently. God knows where these ideas come from, any excuse to slate me I think.
I've begged her to at least cut down on her drinking but she wont listen...she starts crying and saying it's my fault she drinks so much because she worries about me. She books a holiday for us every year...and I know how terrible it sounds but I really dont want to go again. Every year she gets drunk and causes a problem. Last year I spent our first night sitting outside the caravan in the rain for three hours. She passed out drunk on the living room floor and when I gently tried to wake her and asked her to go to bed in the double room so I could pull out the bed in the lounge where I was to sleep she screamed at me that "I couldn't tell her what to fucking do". I just wanted to get as far away from her as possible but obviously couldn't go anywhere and leave the kids with her (they were asleep in their room). This is just one example but there's so much more to it.
How do I get out of another holiday with her? I've tried to explain but obviously when she's sober she doesn't remember a thing and gets really upset...whatever I do I seem to hurt her feelings.