it hurts so much

[da55]

he sexually,mentally and physically abused me but he is blaming me for the seperation,he calls me evil and life destroyier.last night our son wanted to say goodnight to him so i called him and he answered but didnt talk so i could her him with the new girlfriend and the kids having a laugh,he hanged up and i called back.he said what do you want?i gave the phone to my son to say goodnight and he said good night so quickly and said to me fuck off.
it hurts so much that i couldnt sleep last night.

this morning he sent an empty test followed by a call i answered but he did speak and i could hear him and the girlfriend playing happy families,i said hello several times but no answer so just hung up.i sent him a test asking why he called and didnt speak and he replied it was an accident.fair enough my son came back from sch upset and he said to me he wants to go to bed because a girl in his sch told him his dad is in their house.is all too much for me and i dont know how to make him happy.is realy affecting him.

Oh that's sad Da, the only thing i can think of, is for you to reassure your DS that although his dad is in a different house, it doesn't mean he loves him any less..

Can you think of nice things to do together tomorrow or at the weekend- go to the cinema, go for a pizza etc to give him something to look forward to and cheer him up a bit?

thanks. he has actually got a temperature now ive giving him para and keeping an eye on him.am thinking abt swimming lessons for him it may keep him busy for a while.

da55 - well done for leaving him. Leave him some more! Don't take his calls (get a new number?), don't talk to him and DON'T FEEL SORRY FOR HIM. It's probably how he controlled you in the first place, by getting you to feel sorry for him. If there's anybody you could be feeling sorry for it's you and ds, not him.

Agree that the Freedom Programme is amazing and really helps you to recognise how you are being abused and helps you to move on, with lots of other women there who know exactly what you are experiencing because they are, or have, experienced the same. Have a look to see where there is a class near you - they are wonderful, and lifechanging. xx

thanks again.i feel realy sorry for my son hes been quiet and ill, he sent me a message that sometimes i make him laugh just because i told him not to call or test me. will definately go for the freedom programme.