is there any way i could stay in my home ?

[kookypooky]

i have no clue about finances etc unfortunatly i have been with my partner since i was a teen , been a sahm and its his name on the mortgage.

i have been made to feel inferior by him for years due to me not being the earner.
things are really bad between us and he is talking about selling up and splitting up.

I have 2 sons , one of which has been through a difficult time mentally recently and is waiting for assessment for aspergers. This will really tip him over the edge.

i know there is no such thing as common law rights anymore but is there any way i could insist on staying in our family home ? could i somehow gain benefits ?

i just want the best for my kids.
spent most of today crying. dont really know what hes up

benefits wont pay a full mortgage....so doubt it,especially if he wants to sell up

renting privately might be best way.....complete new start?

I think you would need to see a solicitor who deal in family law. How old are the children?

they are now 12 and 15

Hi Kooky , i remember your other thread . If its his house in his name and your not married i dont think youve got any rights , is your name on the mortgage ?

If your not on the mortgage i would just rent. If you ring the council they can do a calculation over the phone and tell you how much housing benefit youd be entitled to . Moving out always seems like the end of the world , but i think sometimes it can be a great new start , you can sell it to the kids as an adventure.

Consult a solicitor who specialises in family law. It may be possible to make a claim for a slice of the property under the Children Act. However, without knowing all the details it is impossible to say how much, if anything, you would get.

Can I just say it's a good thing you're not a party to the mortgage? A mortgage is just an enormous loan, you'd be liable for it if you were party. Having your name on the deeds is a different matter, but I'm assuming you haven't.

I agree with everyone else that moving could be the best possible thing for you & DCs. Making a place your own is exciting, and symbolic in a very positive way. It could well be possible to persuade/blackmail/force your partner to put up six months' rent in advance on a place for you all - if you stick to the lower third of the price bracket near you, you should then be able to claim enough benefits to cover your rent & council tax, plus a bit.

All the rules are changing so fast I daren't offer any definite advice except to see a family lawyer and TELL THEM FROM THE OFF that yours won't be a conciliatory split. They're trained to look for mutually-beneficial agreements (as, indeed, most splits are despite the bitterness) but you haven't got time or money to spend on fruitless explorations. Also make an appointment at the CAB, you should be able to get one now, before their funding cuts out.

You can do it :) You'll feel better once you've started getting clear facts together.

The advice you've had to find a solicitor is good advice, I second that.

On a slightly different slant... you've had years of being old what you can't do/ aren't good at, let me put your value to you in another way. How many of these can you do? (I expect all)...

Speak english; read; write; post a letter; add, subract, divide and multiply with a calculator (even if you work slowly); fill in a form (even if you have to phone to check what 1 or 2 of the questions mean); make a telephone call; answer a telephone call; turn up on time to a pre-agreed meeting (when there are no emergency changes in circumstances); ask a question when you are not sure about something.

Honestly that is the sum total of all the skills you need to run the paperwork side of a household.

It helps if you can also...

Use the internet; write an email; read an email; send a text message; read a text message; print out a document on a computer.

None of the above are essential though.

When you take the confidence crisis out of it, you're clearly literate, if you can use a computer to talk to us you can use a calculator, I can't imagine the phone or meetings being a problem- you will have had plenty of practice with keeping in touch with the childrens schools over the years.

You can run a home. All you need is someone to tell you where to start. The solicitor will help with the big things like helping you understand any rights and responsibilities in a split and we can help with the small things like telling you how to change an electricity supplier or if you should apply for a benefit.

As you're not married then I think your solicitor is going to say that you and the children need to move out, but even that is less daunting than you think. We can talk you through it if you like, the only silly question is an unanswered one.

One more thing, if there is any hint of domestic violence, if he has ever so much as slapped you, then I think you should mention it to the solicitor.

Free advice from fully qualified solicitors is available to women in your position through Rights Of Women so that might be the best place to start. They know thier stuff and I'm sure if you explain what you told us about never having had any responsibility for paperwork matters that they will explain everything really thoroughly.

You can do this y'know. We're behind you all the way.

Thankyou for all the advice , your all lovely
had to log off last night before i could read the replies .