How do i shame my man?

[HelenEmjay]

Im sorry to gross anyone out but, my dp picks his nose and then eats it, he will then sit with his hand down his pants playing with or doing something with his tackle! he quite often does both - he will sit watching telly playing with his bits AND picking his nose and eating it of course i have said you revolting pig what are you doing? - he has no shame and replys 'you see, who said men cant do two things at once!' He NEVER EVER gets a bath or shower the last time to my memory was a shower about 2 weeks ago and he NEVER NEVER washes his hands when he has been to the toilet!!!!! - how disgusting is that??!!!! he is 28 and should know better, i have told him off for it and asked why he is such a grufty git, but he makes a joke of it and doesnt change! His parents are immaculate clean and tidy people so its not like he doesnt know better, but we have 3 small children and he isnt setting a good example not to mention is hugely unhygenic! PLEASE help, how do i make him feel so damn ashamed and dirty that he changes his ways? i cant describe how disgusting i find it, it truly revolts me!

[spookylucy]

Refuse to kiss him, Yuk you poor thing!

[rickman]

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[helloween]

Withhold privileges (I wouldn't find that too difficult if he was minging)

[HelenEmjay]

lol helloween! i most definately have withheld privileges! put it this way last time was when we conceived dd she is now 6 weeks old! - he has moaned his head off about it but im putting my foot down - his behavior is gross! he is very very very slightly better but i really think he doesnt know what he's doing thats wrong! who doesnt get a bath or shower! eeewwww!!! the worst thing i think is when he doesnt wash his hands after using the toilet but its all bad isnt it, i really want him to sort himself out - our dd who is 6 weeks - he puts his finger in her mouth when she cries and well, you can imagine whats going through my mind cant you! - what the hells on that finger! i obviously rescue her asap!

[dejags]

Helenemjay,

I don't mean to be a scaremonger - but you should know that both my kids were hospitalised earlier this year with Rota and Adeno Virus respectively. The doctor thinks they got it from personal hygiene after using the loo. We are fastidious about this but I cannot control what my four year old does at school nor can I control what our nanny does (at the time I witnessed several occasions where she didn't wash her hands after using the toilet).

Anyway - both kids were violently ill, with drips and in isolation and a carrier doesn't necessarily have to be ill themselves.

I have made hand washing a mandatory activity in my nanny and houskeeper's contracts now. Your DH is taking chances with your baby's maybe if you tell him about this then he might make more of an effort to improve.

[dejags]

sorry your "baby's health".

I should really learn to preview.

[HelenEmjay]

Thankyou dejags! - that is the perfect example of why it not only disgusts me but it bloody worries me too! i am almost obsessive about cleanliness i have those pump bottles of carex all over for washing hands with and the kids know they have to wash hands after the toilet and before eating etc but dp doesnt do it - it angers me so much!!!! he's not stupid he must know he has germs if he doesnt wash doesnt he care?? im confused by it to be honest!

[ggglimpopo]

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[rubles]

My strategy if it were me would be to work on one thing at a time. So the washing has to come first out of your dh's list of unappealing habits.
Forget about the scrummaging about in the pants whilst nose picking (although that is gross!!). Don't mention them ever and just nag and manipulate him into fastidiously washing his hands (make him use a nail brush too). Concentrate on that only.
Then I would work on the showering/bathing by forcing him to shower at least twice a week by withholding something he wants and can't do without...don't know what, but something that he really wants immediately that you do for him...(a program you hate on telly that he loves/dinner??) until he has showered himself.

At that point I would try and get back into the habit of having sex as he has gone so long without it that it isn't a punishment any more and it isn't working - and it can only be a good thing for you both. It might motivate him to try harder..maybe.

Then I would isolate either the rummaging in pants or the nose picking, but I fear that that is a long, long way down the line and so will need another thread!

This really does involve treating him like a child, but he is acting like a dirty little toddler and it is not helping your relationship for him to be so repellant.

Good luck! I am currently working on my dp's dental hygiene so empathise with you.

[ninah]

video him!

[tegan]

I've got one of those blokes too. Every night watching TV he has one hand on his jewels and the other somewhere near his nose.

[ggglimpopo]

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[HelenEmjay]

LMAO!!! rubles like the way you worded all that, good points too will try it one thing at a time, but the sex though? - seriously would you go near something like that and have sex with it?? lol!
Good one ninah - video him i will do that asap and show him what a filthy pig he is!
Tegan - glad im not the only one, gross arent they?

[handlemecarefully]

My dh does at least shower daily, but he is another nose picker / eater...

Truly hideous.

Don't men realise they would probably get more bedroom action if they were slightly less repulsive?

[HelenEmjay]

lol! hmc! obviously not - dp would get more if he was ALOT less repulsive - i feel more inclined to have sex with a pig in our compost heap!