help me please

[ichangedmymindagain]

I have finally been asked to leave the home in which i have lived with my partner . I KNOW ITS ALL MY FAULT AND I PUSH HIM UNTIL HE FINALLY BROKE , we had a huge row tonight and he called me some dreadful things and told me to go and that he didnt care anymore . I now find myself totallly alone , i have a crap family thta cant or wont help and only two friends, one lives along way away and the other is on holiday in oz . so im totally alone and dont know what to do , or how to even start to rebulid me life. I have a serverly disabled son and a daughter at uni, my ex has stepped in and said he will have our son go an live with him as he doesnt want him in a b&b , so im feeling a bit shit now , no son no home and the man i love doesnt want or love me , what do i do

Why do you think it's all your fault?

because i am over emotional and when i feel neglected i say things to get a reaction , learnt behaviour (so my counciller said , my mum was a crap mum ) I just crave attention at the moment . my son has bee nhaving loads of problems and although we had started to work them out , im so tired and feeling like a fauilure as a mum , that i just pushed to hard , . we have always had problems ,because of all th ebagggage thta goes wiht th erelastionship , but now i have just said far to much

he told me i had till friday to get out , but have managed to get him to let me stay until i can find myself some where to stay . please can some one push me in the right direction , who do i go to , for leagl advice and what about money , i am a shm (working a few hours a week ) please some one

is it a rented or owned property?

you could do what some men do, and that is just not leave. the other partner cannot physically push you out, then they cant make you leave.

i would suggest you let your son stay with your ex, i assume his father, for a while, and see what you can do with your relationship. o

Talk to Shelter, Women's Aid and the CAB. Is the house his (ie only his name on the mortgage/tenancy agreement)? If so, he can ask you to leave, but if it's a joint tenancy/mortgage and you are the main carer for your disabled DS it might be that your XP is the one who a court will order to leave the house.
Also, is this man physically violent or threatening? If so, again, he can be made to leave the house.
However (and not blaming you, just aware that we don't know the full story) if your behaviour is unreasonable or you have MH issues that mean you behave aggressively, it may be the case that your XP is unable to cope with what he sees as a long term situation, and it may be possible to negotiate a more amicable separation if you are getting help for yourself and making an effort.

his house paid for when he lost his wife . i dont think i ahve mh isssues , i just behave badly when tired and emotional . He has been voilent ,and does become very aggressive when he drinks , but we worked throught theses things and now im struggling a little he cant cope with me . if the realashionship is over and i think after tonight it is , (he has gone to bed to bed , dispite me sobbing and trying t oexplain how i feel ans why i think i behave this way . It has bee na riller coaster of a time for me in the past two years , my brother was killed and a lots of oproblems went with tthat , my sister told me she has been abused as a child , i then tried to support her and my son was ill , wiht major behavioural problem .ie freusing to leave the house attacting me he is nearly 16 . ) so it has problem come to this for a reason , i just dont know what to do know .

sorry writing all over the place , cant stop shaking . attacking me was what i meant to say
.

first of all
have a hug and try to catch your breath

is your son safe tonight?
do you have somewhere to stay tonight?

i have now where to go, my son is here with me , a change of his routine would be a nitemare, we are safe . he will go to work at 6 so we wont see him , he wont come home till 6 tomorrow

as unlikely as it might seem you need some sleep right now
everything will seem much clearer in the morning

honestly

then you will have to decide what you really want
it might be that you are exhausted and suffering from depression which can manifest itself in many ways
it might be that you need more support at the moment but don't know the right ways to ask for it
better that you get some sleep and then try to work out what you want tomorrow.
once you have the goal sorted out the you can put together a plan to realise it

it sounds like you have had a very tough time and need support
sometimes when we are at our lowest we push people away hardest

So your partner is a violent drunk. No wonder you are upset and inclined to lash out verbally. TBH getting out of this relationship is going to be the best thing for you - a violent drunk is never going to be able to support you or make you feel happy and safe within your relationship.
WA, SHelter and CAB: you will be helped to find a new home: as you are the mother of a child with SN you will be a priority for local authority housing.
Your partner is a violent drunk so there is no way you will be forced to leave your son in his care.