How do you deal with the raging anger?

[MadMommaMemoo]

When your dh has done something to really hurt how do you get past the anger.

I feel such a rage inside and I can't look at him without screaming at him which obviously isn't good with the kids around.

How do I get a hold on this rage I feel inside?

Well if you feel up to telling the whole story, I'd be happy to help. I understand your anger and it was probably me who said that asking an H in these circumstances to leave, is often incredibly self-defeating, especially if it means you'll be left with all the shitwork while he swans off to a nice hotel or a mate's flat...

If you feel that you are too angry to speak just now, or more importantly to listen and learn some information, then don't do it.

I expect you feel like you've been hit by a bus, so I'd advise you to insist your H takes over at home and does all the shitwork, caring for you as though you had been hit by a bus. You're experiencing trauma memoo and that induces physiological symptoms. Don't under-estimate them.

Be slow to make any decisions and verify as much of what your H is telling you via other means, because at this stage, he will still be telling lies - and some of those will be to himself.

He does see he has done wrong. He is gutted. What he doesn't get is that being sorry isn't enough, he should never have done it in the first place. I'm sure he thinks because he hasn't had sex with her it isn't that bad but he may as well have because I couldn't be mire hurt. They've even joked via email about "his crazy wife" he has actually taken the piss out of me for being ill

Jesus memoo Thats awful. He should be fucking sorry!

You're probably all right.

I do feel like I've been hit by a bus. I fecking trusted him so much. I feel physically ill, really dizzy and sick.

Oh MMM I'm so very sorry. Have you a friend with you? You are in shock, I think you could use some company.

No there is nobody here. There is no one who can come round. He is finishing work at lunch so will be home soon.

Well, he needs to know it's not resolved for you until you have got to the bottom of why he felt he could behave like that. YOu are right - sorry isn't enough> Did you find out yourself? Has he discussed what would have happened if you hadn't found out?

now your thread from last night makes more sense!!!

memoo do you still have access to your CPN?

What your husband has done is terrible and having pnd does not detract from what your husband has done. You are in no way responsible for his infidility.

You feelings are natural and understandable. Healthy women who have been cheated on feel exactly the same.

Yeah I do but he is away atm. I can always speak to another one I guess.

I have made an appointment to go and see my GP tomorrow. I don't know what he can do but feel like I am going crazy.

Having all those really negative thoughts about harming myself again and I haven't had those for months.

'They've even joked via email about "his crazy wife" he has actually taken the piss out of me for being ill' - the bastard. Sorry to hear you are going through this MMM.

Bastard is too polite a word for him

In this situation I'd say a swift kick to the crotch would be an admirable start.

I agree but have already been told off by SGB for throwing some water at him! Can you imagine what she's say if I kicked him in the bollocks!!

I think this may be the first time I've ever disagreed with SGB but yeah, kick him in the crotch then throw his possessions out the window. What a knob.

Let me know once you've done this so we can consider what to do about her, the nasty vindictive cow.