Would you call the police in this circumstance?

[lemonicelolly]

Just that really.

Idiot ex has given up his flat in the last week because he says he cannot afford the rent. He is now homeless and and is trying to get back here. We have been formally separated for over two years. The house is still in both of our names though for various admin reasons. We say we are on good terms but he can be violent and threatening and I am scared of him. He will be nice as anything until things do not go his way and then will get very nasty and I feel sick and scared when I deal with him. He comes to see the dc regularly, will not make a formal maintenence arrangement and I am absolutely terrified that when he comes tonight he will just refuse to go, he literally has no where to go but has done this to himself and I cannot have him here.

Would you call the police and ask them to remove him? What can I do? Please help me.

Don't let him in. If he kicks off, phone the police. That is what the police are there for.

If having the police involved in his life would be so calamitous for him then all he need do is behave like a normal person and not like an aggressive, violent twat. If he chooses the "twat" option then he deserves everything that arises from that. It is not your fault.

Yes, it might have a knock-on effect on your DCs and that would be sad. But just because he sees the DCs regularly that doesn't mean he has a right to boss you around and walk all over you.

I wouldn't let him in. He should be seeing his kids outside your house 2 years down the line and after 2 years separation you should have prioritised changing the name on the tenancy. I'd have got a solicitor involved with this as refusing to remove his name sounds illegal. If he hasn't lived there for 2 years then the police should support you but your setup sounds bizarre.

I did prioritise it. Changes cannot be made to secure tenancies while it is in arrears. End of. He moves every few months so I cannot even divorce him as he is never where the divorce petition is sent. If my set up is "bizarre" believe me it is not on my side. I am leaving my assured tenancy to move into private rented in an attempt to get away from him, he can have the place I don't care anymore but not when I am in it.

In the end he didn't come round but will be here tommorrow.

Hell yes Honey, I would call the police. I might even pop into my local station for a quiet word BEFORE he arrives if I thought I might need to call them, so that they were aware.

why should you move? Just dont let him in. Why is he expecting you to let him stay there? Also after 2 years seperated your divorce doesnt need his signature (i think)

dont let him in. not worth the risk.
have the children meet him outside the flat.

Do not let him in. He is a risk to you and your children. Why would you risk it? He isn't your responsibility. Why do you feel he is? You can and should do nothing for him.

Do not let him in and do NOT allow him to take the children away if you think he will use then as a lever ie "I'm not giving them back unless you let me in"

How are things going OP?

just checking in to see how you are op