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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

one yr on msg - ideas???

18 replies

Flojo1979 · 13/03/2011 14:23

Hi, this might sound a bit OTT but me and my fella have been together a yr next wkend and decided to celebrate it. As i missed his bday (dont ask!!) i decided to get a card (bit slushy i know!!) its blank and i'm no good with words. Had a look on google but all suggestions r stuff like "thanks for 365 wonderful days" etc and believe me they aint all been that wonderful!! But we stuck it out thro the rough and i want something that kinda says that???

OP posts:
doricpatter · 13/03/2011 14:28

To be honest I've always tended towards a blow job for that sort of occasion ... Grin

happiestblonde · 13/03/2011 14:30

That's sweet, I did similar. Keep it personal.

Original poster
Flojo1979 · 13/03/2011 14:32

Ha thanx doric, I'll bear that in mind!
Hap i tend to get embarrasssed and stumble with my own words so was hoping to pinch someone elses, then if i cringe too much i can say its not me it was some dumb clintons one!!

OP posts:
atswimtwolengths · 13/03/2011 14:36

Well depends what was rough about that year, doesn't it? If he's stuck by you through your problems, then it's lovely to thank him for that. If, however, he's made your life a misery at times, I'd be rethinking!

Original poster
Flojo1979 · 13/03/2011 14:55

ha, well bit of both to be honest atswim. But we r working thro stuff, just dont like all that sickly sweet, lifes perfect nonesense cos no relationship is.

OP posts:
FourFortyFour · 13/03/2011 15:15

Relationships shouldn't be all work though. For the majority of the time he should add to your life and make it better. Not stressful or worse.

Original poster
Flojo1979 · 13/03/2011 15:52

I know what u mean four and many a time i've thought about ending it but recently decided that if he can put up with my quirks n pmt then i should put up with it not being roses round the garden. Which i guess is why i'm using our 1 yr thing as an excuse to make a happy occassion and continue to make the effort with each other.

OP posts:
atswimtwolengths · 13/03/2011 16:03

Flojo, I'm single but I have to say I don't really want a relationship like that! The first year should be good, shouldn't it? If you have problems with PMT, maybe you should see your doctor, or find ways of dealing with it? If it's bad for the relationship, it must be bad for you, too.

Original poster
Flojo1979 · 13/03/2011 16:06

hi, atswim thanx for your advice, i'll take it on board.

OP posts:
happiestblonde · 13/03/2011 16:11

Flojo, you say life/relationships being perfect is not true but I would dispute that. I don't mean this in a 'yay my life's perfect rah fucking rah' way but for our first year and about 9 months DP and I did not have an argument, and despite a hard 3 weeks then we have not since... if you are having problems so early on perhaps it shouldn't be a card you are writing...? x

Original poster
Flojo1979 · 13/03/2011 16:17

hi hap, after a couple of disasterous relationships b4 I'm determined to stick this one out. And many ppl I speak to say the opposite and that those first couple of yrs r the most trying as u discover your role in each others lives and get used to compromising on toilet seats and toothpaste caps and once all that is ironed out it gets easier???
But i think thats why this one is a keeper cos we r both pretty lousy at communicating effectively. I tend to have irrational pmt style tantrums and he tends to disappear and be non communicative for days. Over there yr there has been so many reasons why i convince myself we r no good together, not least things like, hes 40 and his DC has left home and I'm in my 30's with 2 kids under 5.
But he seems to love me and want me and these days that seems like something special to be held on to.

OP posts:
happiestblonde · 13/03/2011 16:20

In that case I suggest you write how you feel, what it is about him that makes you feel this is special, why he makes you happy and why you are glad he is in your life. :) x

Original poster
Flojo1979 · 13/03/2011 16:21

ha and now u know why i wanted to pinch it from somewhere else!!

OP posts:
Original poster
Flojo1979 · 13/03/2011 16:22

Gezzz why do i now feel like i should take his jumper back to the shop and get a relate voucher instead as a pres!!

OP posts:
happiestblonde · 13/03/2011 16:22

Ah! Well, I could PM you the contents of some of mine to DP (we're big on letters/cards) but I wouldn't want to make you sick

FourFortyFour · 13/03/2011 16:23

Take Agnus Castus for your PMT.

happiestblonde · 13/03/2011 16:23

Relate do vouchers? Sound.

ginmakesitallok · 13/03/2011 16:26

It's your choice - but to be honest if I was having to "work" at a relationship that was only one year old then I wouldn't bother - you'll be "working" on it forever. If DP and I were having problems I would "work" on it - but we've been together 17 years. The first few years should be the good ones which remind you later on how much you love each other

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