where is the line between harmless banter and something more... confused?

[humptydidit]

Been on Facebook this morning. A friend of mine is having this ongoing "banter"/chatting/conversation whatever you call it between her and a guy she works with.

I'm seriously wondering if my instincts have been screwed by my wierdo ex so asking yr opinion.

They aren't chatting about sex or overtly flirting but the thread had 20 plus responses last night, plus another one yest morning and then they are starting again this morning. Just kidding around so far as I can see.

My mate is happily married etc and the bloke is too. I think if I saw my partner chatting like this with a girl I might not really like it. Not because i think he's coming on to her, but can't quite put my finger on it, but it seems wrong.

Now I am open to being told I am over sensitive but what do you guys think?

Er, none of your business.

It's hard to say without the context. I often have long conversations with married friends on Facebook and they're quite jokey but mean nothing. It also depends on the boundaries/sensitivities within both parties' relationships. Depends on levels of trust/flirting outside that all partners are comfortable with.

So, based on what you've said, I think it's impossible to tell if you're being over-sensitive or not.

no I don't mean that I am interfering in my friends life... that's her business. I'm saying if your partner was doing this would it bother you?

woman I think yr right, I think my ex would have flipped out and would not have "allowed" it, whereas I think I would be confident if I was crossing a line or not.

Sorry here

No it wouldn't. I quite often have ongoing conversations with male friends on Facebook. My DH is a Facebook friend, so he can perfectly well see what I am writing. Sometimes I have private message conversations too. It is frankly NOYB and I can't see why you think it is.

I never said it was my business. It just made me think about my past and how I was told by my ex it was wrong. but am now questioning that opinion

Oh OK, sorry for being a bit short with you.

I think if it's a conversation you'd be happy for your partner to look at/hear, then there isn't a problem.

ok thank you.
Sorry for sounding stupid!

i think it being public makes it more acceptable.

however, i think that extended private message conversations run the risk of being considered as something more than banter.

depends where your boundaries are.