sorry seem to have taken ages to post and so managed to massivly x post.
Yes the extra information you give is absoltuly domestic abuse. see the (not definitive) list womens iad have -
What are the signs of domestic violence?
* Destructive criticism and verbal abuse: shouting/mocking/accusing/name calling/verbally threatening
* Pressure tactics: sulking, threatening to withhold money, disconnect the telephone, take the car away, commit suicide, take the children away, report you to welfare agencies unless you comply with his demands regarding bringing up the children, lying to your friends and family about you, telling you that you have no choice in any decisions.
* Disrespect: persistently putting you down in front of other people, not listening or responding when you talk, interrupting your telephone calls, taking money from your purse without asking, refusing to help with childcare or housework.
* Breaking trust: lying to you, withholding information from you, being jealous, having other relationships, breaking promises and shared agreements.
* Isolation: monitoring or blocking your telephone calls, telling you where you can and cannot go, preventing you from seeing friends and relatives.
* Harassment: following you, checking up on you, opening your mail, repeatedly checking to see who has telephoned you, embarrassing you in public.
* Threats: making angry gestures, using physical size to intimidate, shouting you down, destroying your possessions, breaking things, punching walls, wielding a knife or a gun, threatening to kill or harm you and the children.
* Sexual violence: using force, threats or intimidation to make you perform sexual acts, having sex with you when you don't want to have sex, any degrading treatment based on your sexual orientation.
* Physical violence: punching, slapping, hitting, biting, pinching, kicking, pulling hair out, pushing, shoving, burning, strangling.
* Denial: saying the abuse doesn't happen, saying you caused the abusive behaviour, being publicly gentle and patient, crying and begging for forgiveness, saying it will never happen again.
Now that is not an exhaustive list. There are many more little things you will probably be able to identify. but it may help you see just what he is doing is not because he cares, it is because he is insecure and controlling.