Trust - a discussion

[mastercress]

OK, so here?s the deal IMHO.

If Party A does not trust Party B, for whatever reason, then Party A needs to make a considered decision. And I think the choice, albeit very black and white, is stay and get over it or leave.

If there is a complete lack of evidence, I would strongly advise not to go looking for it anyway. You don?t trust them, that?s the point. Looking for it is only going to make you look like a mental health case if there?s none to be found or, if you do find some, it will just prove what you thought anyway so you may as well save yourself the pain. And Party B will not thank you if there is no evidence ? it will royally piss them off and they may well leave you anyway.

Agree? Disagree?

Winky: Well that wouldn't happen to me anyway because I don't do monogamy or couplehood in the first place. But to me, having affairs are not high up on the list of friendship-ending offences.

Unfortunately nobody was a good enough friend to take my husband away. I had to get rid of him all by myself.

That's not quite the same situation though, Winky. C might have had some responsibility not to make advances to someone a friend was seeing, but when she first took up with B she did not know A or even that A existed. Thus she did not owe A anything personally. She told herself that if B was on the hunt he was going to find somebody else anyway, so why shouldn't it be her? Better her than someone who would try to take him away from his family, she said. There was a certain twisted logic to it, not that it would have worked for me nor, I'd guess, you. It didn't work for A either, by all accounts.

I see. A different scenario to the one I was imagining. I thought you and she were hanging out together whilst she deceived you.

Nothing is ever black and White, is it?