How can men get out of abusive relationships?

[HarkTheYoungChickenOnAWDayDiet]

Emotionally abusive, shes checking his phone when he gets in from work, he has no money of his own, no car of his own. Hes aloud to work thats it. What can i do? He wants out

What is there to stop him from leaving?

If he works, presumably he has a salary, though if they have children together he will be obliged to pay maintenance if he leaves. DO they live somewhere so remote that it's impossible to manage without a car?
Is he afraid she will attack him physically if he leaves? If so he might find it helpful to talk to the local police DV unit. If there are DC involved and he is frightened that she will hurt them if he leaves, he should take them with him: is there someone (family/friends) who could put him up for a few nights?

Mankind

There is little you can do except be there. Listen to him. Tell him if he has a valid point. Be supportive. Be a friend.

This is no different to a woman in the same situation. He has to recognise it and want change before things will change. Be there for him if he wants to change. Be there for him if he doesn't. Your support will help, even when you find it fraustrating.

Apparently his wage gets paid into there joint account that only she has a card for. So he has no money not even a allowance.

They dont have children together but she has two that he has brought up for the past few years, i think hes worried that if he goes he will never see the children again (correct) and she will not manage them on his own.

Sorry i dont have a huge amount of info its only just coming out tonight.

I would suggest he open a bank account in his own name, and have his salary paid direct into that, then transfer the money necessary for bills to the account that she controls.

Is there a reason that she is so paranoid?

I have no doubt he is telling the truth it all makes sense now. Hes a shadow of his former self :(
Cant believe i didnt see it.

No idea squeaky i didnt know here before they were together

He follows the same steps as a woman in the same situation. If he is in fear of physical violence then he needs to speak with police. Most counties have a male Dv line which they will be able to advise him of.

We would need a few more details to give accurate advise but essentially if he has a salary he can set up a new bank account and have his next wages paid into the new account. he can organise a freind or family to stay with to coincide with his payday.

Once he is physically out of the house he can organise speaking to someone about gaining access to the children.
unless he thinks they are at risk by leaving them, in which case he would need to speak with SS

The most important thing you can tell him is that what he is experiencing is not normal or acceptable, and that there is help for him. People who live with abusers often feel that there is no escape, that the abuser is all-powerful and that other people will just walk on by. It';s not true.

Ok flame if you want but I have a question?

Are you in or hoping to be in a sexual/ romantic relationship with this man?
If you are please read some of the threads on here from women who have been left by their husbands suddenly, i.e.: as far as the wife was concerned theirs was a happy stable relationship when suddenly husband up and leaves and claims that he has been unhappy for , well, yonks, but if you ask the other woman the wife was a bitch from hell, abused him in all ways..

However if you really seriously think this man is being abused here is a useful website from shelter england.shelter.org.uk/get_advice/families_and_relationships/domestic_abuse/domestic_abuse_against_men.
this is another good one www.mensadviceline.org.uk/mens_advice.php

I realise that as a man he is going to experience all types of disbelief and I really don't want to add to that, he will be in the position that abused women were in several years ago.
And as far as I'm concerned DV is DV no matter who is the instigator and should be treated with the same seriousness no matter what sex the hitter is

but (sadly)i am also aware that this has become the new 'my wife doesn't understand me'

No im getting married to someone else on monday kitta & hes like 20years older than me.
I honestly think that there is something seriously up here. Thank you for all the advice he has gone to bed now so off i go aswell.

Grand, ok well basically you need to give him all the advice and help that you would do a female friend that you were worried about.

EXCEPT pretend that you are in the 1950, where the general public/police thought that DV was a woman being silly.

So in other words accept now that your friend will be disbelieved, ridiculed, laughed at, made to doubt himself.

"cause hey, he's a bloke, how can he be a victim of DV he a MAN. .. . . . . . .

The fact that he is a good man will hold no weight, he needs to report and document and report and document and report and. ..