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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

I know im probably hormonal but I think I want to leave!!

33 replies

Nemo666 · 22/10/2005 16:40

Ive had enough of my dh...for the past few months he has gone from being a lovely caring husband to an arse...not to the extent of some but he has changed. We dont talk much anymore or if i do try and talk he tells me I am going on or he falls asleep or asks me to repeat myself about 10 times. I havent been sleeping very well and have suffered depression for the past 2 yrs so dont know if this is a factor in it. He has been working long hours at work so I know hes tired but it is like being a single mum anyway to my 2 yr old and am 7mths pregnant. I tried to go for a sleep this afternoon when I put my son down for a nap and dh insisted on having the radio on full blast, stomping around the house and slamming doors/banging which has just made me go to the end of my tether. Last night in his sleep he was talking to someone about how much he loved them etc but dont think it was me. He has cheated on me before..well not cheated but kissed and started a relationship with someone when we were both in uni but just living together. So of course I am now convinced that is happening again. Just silly things like he would have my bday off work so we could do stuff but this year he has told me he is working 13hrs and thats that. I am at the point where I feel miserable being here but the idea of going makes me miserable aswell. WE also have huge debts and I have no way of paying rent on a house. So need some advice if possible.

OP posts:
NotQuiteCockney · 22/10/2005 19:23

He might also really want to succeed at this job, rather than trying a new one, as that would feel like giving up?

Nemo666 · 22/10/2005 19:33

NQC suppose that is possible..although he has done very well so far as he only started as a sales man and is now a manager..just annoying that the other manager who he works with earns 12g a year more than him and has a company car.

OP posts:
spookylips · 23/10/2005 13:20

hi nemo.... how are you today?

Nemo666 · 23/10/2005 13:32

hi so so..been quiet here today so who knows..lol We are supposed to be going to a friends for sunday roast at 4.30pm so he may talk then.

OP posts:
dramaqueen72 · 23/10/2005 14:46

sending you well wishes nemo hun. I think our pregnancies, in this stage, make us stop and question such a lot of our lives, and i think we're pretty hard to live with right now too. so hang in there. did you speak to him about the sleep talking? things like that can often play with your mind for weeks if you dont at least say something, even in a lighthearted way.
try to say something to him about how you miss the old him, and how you know its been tough lately etc, and see what his response is. I bet, he is indeed scared of all the weight of responsibilies resting on you both and its making him depressed too.
take care of yourself and take it easy.
hope todays better for you both.

RottenRhubarbWitch · 23/10/2005 15:28

Just to re-iterate, I think he needs a lot of support now too. He supported you when you needed it, he didn't walk away, so please don't walk away from him. When I suffered from depression my dh thought he was being pushed out of the way with all the help I was receiving from other quarters. He was also a little resentful that he needed help too, but he wasn't being offered any. So please be patient and understanding with him. Try not to focus on your problems alone, but focus on him for a time too.

Nemo666 · 23/10/2005 21:26

RRW i am trying to focus on him aswell...please dont get me wrony i love him more than i could say but things are hard for both of us. I am fully aware that when depressed you can become quite self absorbed etc and I am trying not to do that. I also agree he is quite low but we are not going to get anywhere if he wont talk.

OP posts:
ninah · 24/10/2005 09:34

oh nemo, nemo I am so sorry you are going through this. Fwiw I think your dh sounds a good one and you both love each other a lot. No wonder things are hard with everything going on at the moment. It's hard to find time to be close when he is working so hard and you must be exhausted at this stage in preg with ds to look after and I know you lead a busy life. Everything you have said about his before leads me to the conclusion he is head over heels with you and a loving family man. The responsibily of bringing another life into the world is frightening and no doubt that's preying on his mind hence putting 13 hours work ahead of your birthday. Sure he's doing it for you at the end of the day. Hope you can sit down one evening and have a bit of a heart to heart. Will be thinking of you x

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