Please advise asap! Should I or not!

[ginnyjeans]

Short romance - 6 weeks over as he wasn't ready. I was very understanding etc. Can't seem to get him out of my mind.

My friends think he was really shitty with me in the end. He promised me no games and then proceeded to do just that.

Should I tell him how I feel? I'm annoyed at him now. He was so full on with me and then it all just ended. Or do I just keep quiet, keep a friendship. He obviously doesn't want to be with me so what's the point in mouthing off and looking like an idiot?

What do you think? Tell him or not?

And yes - I know I need to get over it! Sigh.

Not only would I not contact him, I wouldn't keep him as a 'friend' either.

He may not have been playing any games, just dated you and decided you were not for him. I know we rarely like to consider that but it happens.

Upwards and onwards, it just means the one for you is still out there, get busy. Telling him would not make you feel any better, and you can't sue for breach of promise.

No to telling him because he won't listen and won't ultimately care. Telling him just gives him more ammo to aim at you and could make you feel more foolish as a result.

Exs are exs often for good reason. Would not stay friends with such a character either, why would you want to?.

Work on rebuilding your own self esteem and worth; such men can and do play havoc with self esteem and women with low self worth are a gift to men with equally low self worth.

I would say don't go off on one at him. He might have pissed you around for a bit but it sounds like he's made it clear he doesn't want to be with you now, so you run the risk of looking a bit mad.

But, if someone had messed me around I wouldn't want to be friends with them afterwards. If you are still maintaining a friendship* with him then perhaps think about distancing yourself from that all together. It's horrible trying to pretend to be someone's friend when you really want to be with them. Everything's always on their terms.

*keeping you dangling in case he wants a casual hook up

Ok, glad I asked. I think I was being encouraged by my friends to tell him and my gut reaction is not to anyway.

Your comment re breach of promise is good. Puts things in perspective.

So - delete, delete, delete. And just no contact. I'm such a twit.

You arent a twit. You just had the misfortune to meet one. :)

Actually, the relationship gave me quite a boost. He is nearly at the end of a divorce (like me) but seems to not be over whatever is going on. He didn't end it per say, just became unavailable and I ultimately said lets call it a day. Then I received missing you texts etc. and he said he is sorry he messed me around but he really needed a clearer head.

He had just been so full on it was unbelievable but maybe I was his rebound relationship?

Ok - this is a bit sad.... but I just deleted his number from phone, all cute texts I had saved and every single email and gmail chat we have had. :(

Moving on....

wash that man right outta your hair...

chalk it up to experience and move on

keep your dignity and your own counsel x

Thanks Peter :)

Am trying! I think I've behaved quite decently with him. I He did say he is relieved I wasn't upset or angry even. And rather than saying I had fallen for him I said 'I could really fall for you'. Sigh. Will continue to keep both dignity and counsel. And indulge in wine.

Agree with others, wave goodbye for good.

Here's some more

Move on.

Yes, I think I am definitely his rebound. Intense, passionate, all quick, then they feel trapped and pull back because they are not over their ex and it's over with you. My sister warned me about this. But I thought she was talking to me! ;) Didn't think my guy could be the one rebounding!

I'm waving goodbye. My deleting stuff was cathartic like that episode of friends where the girls burn stuff reminding them of their ex's.

Crap - dating again at 35 is as bad if not worse as dating at 20. Will be sozzled with all the wine being passed to me!! Good job I deleted his numbers!! ha ha. Nothing like drunken dialling. ;)

keep. away. from. the. texting.

I can't text because I don't have his number any more :)

I didn't even hide his number (before deleting) somewhere I can get at it later! How good am I????

I do unfortunately have his email address burned into my brain. What can I do about that? I need some serious mental will power there!!

oh, you are good

email address ?

chop your fingers off ?

burn your laptop ?

no need for that , if you tell yourself you are not going to contact him, you are not

ha ha. Ok, I'm not! :)

The bugger emailed me today! About an hour ago. Said he hopes I have a great weekend and how about catching up sometime? He'd love to hear all my news. Oh and hugs.

I was on a roll too. Ignore?

Ignore!

It sounds like he wants to keep you "as a friend" in case he wants to change his mind later or in case his ex doesn't want him back or something...

Can't you send his messages direct to Spam?

Yes, will ignore. Will look into spam! Will have more wine! ha ha

This relationship is just not meant to be. Walking away now will be hard, walking away at any time will be hard, but by going back to it and chasing him down again you're gonna add a whole other layer of hard between the miss him layer and the have to walk away layer. You don't need that.

He took you for a ride!

Get rid!

You'll be happy you did!

As my gay friend would say: Next!