Too late for another child?

[lookingfoxy]

I was one of the 'never wanted kids' brigade when I was younger, had ds by a total slip up when I was 30 and my goodness my viewpoint changed (couldn't face abortion either, thought would let nature take its course, what will be will be etc).
I totally adore my son and when he got between 1 and 3 I thought that it would be good for him (and me) to have a sibling without too big an age gap.
My dp (not ds's father but met very shortly after having him) never wanted anymore kids, I had to make a choice between siblings and dp, took my chances and stayed put with dp (who is a great dad).
Now me and dp have decided to live apart and ds is desperatly missing dp's son (who is 17) who has many better things to do, girlfriend, mates etc as a teenager would.
I would really like another child, ds is 6 now though and I think I may have left it too late and this may be too much of an age gap.
Also how on earth would I have another child without a partner (I would never trick anyone).
Answers on a postcard or some words that this is not the end of the world would be appreciated.

Why too late? My sister is nearly 17 years old than me and my brother nearly 14 years older. My dd is 9 and I would LOVE another (but am divorced soon, so that's not going to happen anytime soon!). Also would never trap anyone and would prefer to be in a relationship.

I also thought I would have another very close after having my dd but that obviously didn't work out.

My friends are having their second baby - who will arrive 14 years and 2 months after their first.

It's not typical age gaps but it happens.

Here's hoping for both of us

My oldest brother is 12 yrs older than me and dd1 is 7 yrs older than dd2, you have plenty of time to meet someone

Thanks ginny, would love another one.
Are you close to your older siblings?
I find I see much more of my brother who is 2 years older to me, than the one who is 7 years younger (but that may be because he has quite an exciting lifestyle lol), we're all still close but I would have loved to have a young sibling for ds, anyway can't rewind the past.

I'm not bothered about meeting anyone, is there any legitimate way to have one 'solo'!

Thank you PP as well, and do you have a good relationship with your siblings.
I am concerned as I get ancient, that ds would have to deal with everything on his own without any sibling support.
Despite our age differences, me and my brothers supported our mum through the deaths of my dad and then step dad, I really would not have liked to be a lone child then!

My sister is 18 and 16 years old tthan me - accidence happen

Also my sister is pg at the mo and she is 47 so anything can happen.

My husband is the eldest of three, the youngest of the three is sixteen years younger than him. They're not close-close, because she's at college and he's approaching middle age, but they get along well, have a great fondness for one another, and wil always love each other a lot. His four-years-younger sister and he, on the other hand, are just dutifully polite with nothing in common.

I think there's just no guarantee, and if you want a second child and the opportunity is there, go for it.

I'm close to my sister (who is nearly 17 years older) but my brother is a fruit cake! And there you go - there is only 3 ish years between them and they are not close at all. No guarantees ever and I guess it's all about personality of the child etc. My parents are ageing and my brother hardly contacts them, only really cares for himself.

There is nine years between my daughters and they get on great. I think you have lots of time left; if I'm right you're 36 and some women can have babies well into their forties, but this depends on your own fertility. Why not get it checked out if you're worried?

As for practicalities - sperm donors, or your separated partner or maybe you know someone who would be willing?

I have a 17 year age gap between my eldest and youngest: ds1 - 21, ds2 - 19 & dd - 4.

I'm also currently ttc again after a mc so that'll be 21+ years!! It's actually been great tbh. Dd adores her big brothers and dh has a 12 year old, so she has a big sister too.

Maybe a sperm donor??

Good point lol

I have a sister who is nearly 20 years younger than me, we have a lot of fun and in a lot of aspects she can relate better to me than our mum, it does help that I have a daughter who is the same age as her and they have grown up to be like sisters.

My daughter is also 7 years older than her brother, they have a wonderful relationship, she was there at his birth and bonded with him straight off, she came in very handy when it came to looking after him, fetching, carrying, she even changed nappies, bottle fed etc. the best thing though that has come out of it is she understands that babies are not dolls and they can't be put away when it gets tough, so she has no desire to have children young so I have not had to worry about the 'Mum I think I'm pregnant'

Hi lookingfoxy, I have a great relationship with all 5 of my older brothers but in a way my oldest db was, for a while, a father figure (my dad died when I was 8 and db 20) and I still ask advice from him the most

Dd2 has only been with us since September but she already idolises and follows what dd1 does

I had my DD 3 years ago (when I was 44) - 10.5 years after I had my DS. They get on brilliantly.

My Dc's have an 8 year gap (12 and 4) and love one another. 4yo Dd loves her Db soooo much it's heart warming to see them. They do have squabbles and arguments, but they still adore each other through it.
I was approaching 43 when I had Dd. It's not too late on either maternal age or Dc's age IMO.

I had a look online about going solo as you put it!

There are some sites where men are willing to be donors, without sex etc. Yet in the end it just didn't appeal to me, just seemed to clinical, and the biggest thing was i couldn't bring a child into the world knowing from the start that they wouldn't have a dad in thier lives. My dd hasn't got her dad in her life but thats because it went wrong and we divorced, but at least she started out with the right intention iyswim.

Thats just me tho and there are men who would like to have a fatherly role but not a relationship. Again for me that was too off centre to get my head round. How old are you?

sorry not a relationship as in with the mother.