Our dds are friends. Our boys are friends too. Through school. Only my friend takes the p*ss when it comes to school pick ups, play dates etc. I've posted about her chutzpah before.
I was feeling really resentful as I felt she was using me for extra childcare so I backed off totally. She definitely understood why.
I've since watched other people do things for her willingly. She seems to get lots of other people to do things for her without doing much back for them. That's my experience of her anyway.
I don't care what she does with other people - I find it amusing in a way because I've extricated myself from that. Thank goodness.
This week, I did help her out because she had to pick up her mum from the airport which would clash with school pick up. I picked up her ds home along with mine, gave them supper and took them to their rugby group. That's fine. I know she'll never do the same for me but she was in a fix. Except I don't know why her mum got a flight that landed at such an inconvenient time.
The previous week, another mum at the rugby group had offered to give my ds a lift home because she saw that I have two other dcs younger than my ds who struggle to stay up that late. I had gratefully agreed but then decided to stay for the rugby group anyway with my other 2 dcs as they seemed to be fine. This very kind mum then took my 'friend's' ds home saying my friend had called her after she'd heard of her offer to take my ds home. I had stupidly told my 'friend' of this woman's kindness.
I was so annoyed about this because my 'friend' has an au pair and that night, she had her mother staying with her both of whom could have watched her other dcs when she picked up her ds from rugby. I was annoyed because I didn't want this kind woman thinking I was the type to take advantage of people i.e. lumped with my 'friend'.
Now my friend wants her dd to come and play at our house with my dd. They are pals but I don't want this play date because it's just a chance for my friend to dump her child on me as she used to. She would never ever offer to do the same for me. If I asked her, she would wriggle and say she was busy.
So, I've cancelled the play date because I realise that I'm getting back into the old ways where I was resentful that I was doing so much for her - she'd call me almost every day at school pick up time, asking me to pick up one or other of her children.
It's ok, isn't it? I mean the dds will see each other at school. I just want to maintain a distance between me and this 'friend' because well, friendship to her doesn't really mean hanging out etc. It means lots of favours. What is the etiquette for play dates anyway?