someone please remind me why it's so great to be a SAHM

[HomeintheSun]

I have 2 DC, DS 4.3 years and DD 16 months, DS never eats and DD never sleeps and I'm starting to lose my mind. I've had DD follow me round for the last 9 hours whining and whinging, she is tired and I have put her down twice for a nap and nothing has come of it, nothing I do makes her happy and everything they do makes me annoyed, please someone tell me it won't always be like this before I swap both of them for a twix.

This too will pass .....

Oh I'd love to be at home so muc. Am on ML at the moment and don't ever want to go back, but I sympathise with you, sounds really exhausting.

Let's see, on the plus side you don't have a commute on a smelly train, you don't have to deal with the office arsehole and you can throw what you like on in the morning.

I think you should keep the kids and have a twix as well

know how you feel two boys similar ages, am beginning to think my two would be better off in childcare, seem to spend all my time giving out, organising and refereeing at the minute, .... but hoping it will get better...soon

I shut myself in the kitchen when I lost my temper earlier and threw a bottle of unwanted milk into the sink and instantly regretted it, as I watched it break and splatter milk all over the kitchen.

Flisspaps kettle is on now and I'm going to push the boat out and have a secret biscuit.

Exit DH is off tomorrow so I will have a bottle glass later after the DC are in bed.

Voddy I know you are right but I haven't worked since Nov 06 before I had DS, and in my mind I have glossed over the shit bits to focus on, getting out the house on my own and having a conversation with an adult other than DH.
We have recently moved house again and the only person I kind of know that lives near me is moving house in July which will coincide with DH going away for a four months and when I have days like this, I just hope the kids aren't going to be like this the whole time he's gone. {hmm]

Lil0544 My DS goes to nursery 3 hours a day and when I collect him, I'm told he's been lovely all morning and by the time he gets into the car he's already scrapping with his sister. Things have got to get better. Hope things improve for you too.

Ah that sounds bad, he's away for 4 months? Whereabouts are you? Have you had a look on Mumsnet local to see if there's anyone near you?

I only have 1 11 week old DD so havent yet reached the stage you're at.

This too shall pass - and until then there is always wine and chocolate

I feel your pain. I'm having a similar day.

I'd suggest swapping children for a short while but I've only got one DS 4.5 who'll probably lock your computer into a mode you never knew it had and then you wouldn't even get on MN.

By the way, does anyone know how to get ballpoint ink of a painted wall?

Voddy I'm in Lincoln. 11 weeks is such a nice age. How are you finding motherhood?

The only plus I see...when they are cute you're there to see it first hand...otherwise mhummpmhumm mmmhuthmp

(sorry the mtns of laundry fell on me)

Cross-posted with several people, due to said ballpoint pen...

My DP goes away too. Not for 4 months but regularly.

I feel cope better when I have a plan for something simple to do every day, even if I only make the plan the night before. My DS gets quite clingly. following me around like a shadow.

For the scrapping in the car, could you separate them? Make the front passenger seat desirable and put your DD in the front if he starts scrapping?

Ceic I have heard that rubbing fresh bread on the pen stain will get it out either that or hairspray. The scrapping isn't in the car (but I love your idea, I will keep it in mind for when it does happen) it's just on the way to the car.

bebe you are right there, I was there for their first steps and first words and it is nice when they do things that I've taught them, DS has just learnt to do his buttons up and DD is just starting to talk.

DS nagged me all afternoon for "something yummy" after I told him that because he didn't eat his lunch he wouldn't have anything yummy, he was dissapointed, but he ate more tea then he normally does.
DC are in bed now, after yet another fight in the bath, tomorrow will be better, DH is on leave and said he would take DS to nursery so that means I get a lie in.
Fingers crossed for a better day tomorrow. Thankyou ladies, cheers.

I feel your pain Homeinthesun. I was a teacher before I was a SAHM and thought I would have endless patience and love to lavish on my dcs but it is just not like that.
Things I found that helped:
Try to find something specific to do every day, however small or insignificant it would have been before dcs, a trip out to post a letter can save your sanity once you are a SAHM. Make a real expedition of it.
Try to find social things you can become involved in. For me it was meeting with friends from antenatal classes at least once a week, toddler group, two's group etc. Have a look in your post office, doctor's surgery etc and join in the music groups, kinder gyms etc or join a committee or two to get you out there socialising. When you chat to people you realise we all go through the same thing and somehow it doesn't seem so overwhelming then.
Try to build a routine in the house eg a day for each type of job or a time of day for doing the jobs. I was used to a secondary school timetable and I found this helped as it broke the day down into smaller chunks.
Factor in some treats for yourself in the day eg a chat with a friend on the phone, reading a book, flicking through a magazine, a walk...whatever makes you feel you have been acknowledged in your day.

As for the fighting - I have just given my dcs a sticker chart for team work. You have to keep these things fresh but for the moment it is working. I know at 16 months that doesn't really compute but your ds might get into it.
I have also developed the skill of taking myself out of myself iykwim. I am there but when they are screaming and not hurt I am "out of body" - it seems to help me stay a bit calmer.
Also camomile tea, Bach's rescue remedy etc.

It passes...before you know it! Write a diary of all the positive things that happen in a day. You will be surprised how many times they make you feel fantastic!

And never forget the healing power of chocolate - especially if eaten behind the cupboard door like an illicit drug

sounds like you have had a totally shit day,
the one thing that is certain is that groundhog day will come around tomorrow, I have to say a bit like in the film once I came to terms with the monotony of it I felt free to make silly decisions about things knowing that tomorrow the kids would still get up and need stuff in the morning and it would all be fine.

I asked my health visitor once if it was a bad thing that I had had a gin and tonic at lunchtime because I was at my wits end with the kids (about the same age as your at that time) she assured me that the only time to worry was if I couldn't be bothered to add the tonic or put it in a glass.

also there are very few things you can do that cause long term damage so if it buys you a little space for a few days whilst you recoup your energy, a little chocolate or extra treat isn't going to hurt.

Good luck fortomorrow,!! you will be fine, you sound like a fab mummy

Oh I'm loving most parts of motherhood, HomeintheSun; love the busier bits - getting her bathed, dressed, cuddling, feeding, going out for walks, visiting people and having visitors. What I struggle with is the bit in the afternoon around 4ish when I feel like I should be doing something with her but am at a loss as to what

Hope you're feeling a bit better now, it's rubbish when the little things get on top of you. Hope you have a good day tomorrow.

thank you for all your posts yesterday, today was slightly better although DD was up at 3.30 this morning and in bed with us after that. DH had the day off but has man flu today, but me and DS went to see a friend for a couple of hours this afternoon and her DS was being whingy and it did make me feel so much better knowing that other mums go through it as well and it's not just me and my kids.
I remembered today, DH was away when DS was 16 months and he would always whinge while I was making tea, it drove me mad for a few days until I thought of giving him a little spoon with a bit of chocolate spread on it, it kept his mouth busy, I might have to try this tomorrow with DD.
MyLife toothpaste what a great tip, I know that white toothpaste cleans silver (not the stuff with the blue bit in it).

I have one DD and one on the way. I think it would be so much easier to go to work on some (bad) days, then some days, the sun shines, we feed the ducks and I think how lucky am I.
It is important to get out every day though or you can go crazy.
Its important to forgive yourself too, for the bad days.

homeinthesun I so feel for you. My first born was a nightmare and didnt sleep a night till she was over a year old. My second was a different kettle of fish. Was a boy and they imho are so much more easier to rear babies. (Im a girls mother so please dont shoot me down for saying this.)Believe it or not i went on to have four (i know - insanity - but my kind of insanity and ive never regretted it).

I am now a grandmother of 3 and my first born is now 38 ............ so it does get better. Some days are hanging in days and some go okay. There is no way of knowing when you get up which way your day is going to go.

My ex worked offshore so I had to bring up the children most of the time on my own.

Enjoy the good days and on the not so good days just be glad when they are over.

Try and find people in your area in the same situ. Playgroups etc and if all else fails, come online and have a bitchfest here.