hello - relationship advice needed

[waternymph]

hello. i am almost 32 and i would like some advice/ opinions on my relationship.

1. in many ways he is lovely and am enjoying him and the relationship. he is good at calling and texting and not cancelling arrangements. these are big things aren't they? they show he is into me. know that he IS really into me. he is very affectionate towards me and is wanting to make plans for the summer and so on.

1. there are some BIG things that are not ideal though:

1. he is a lot younger than me, he's just 25, and in some ways is pretty young for his age - this is his first relationship; he still lives with his parents and is emotionally enmeshed with his mum in particular, who is not that big a fan of me or the relationship; he doesn't drive; he is just at the start of his career and has lots of ambitions for his self and work.

1. he hasn't been with anyone else and maybe he should try out some other people and other relationships?

1. am wanting to settle down and can feel biological clock ticking - which is a bit weird to be honest, as have never liked babies or children really

1. he has the same mental disorder as me - manic depression - and is able to do a lot of work and earn money, but haven't seen him when he is ill. could i cope with him when ill?

1. he says his father's line has very strong mental illness in it

1. he is not jewish and i am. this is quite a big thing, as his grandfather was a methodist minister, so is not as if he is just not anything and would love to convert

1. there are some sexual problems/ issues etc

10. this probably all sounds quite serious, but then he is quite intense and serious. on sunday we were talking about marriage and children and stuff, and he has said he has always wanted to settle down and have house and dogs and children, but he doesn't want to get married for at least a couple of years.

11. these are crucial years for me - want to have first baby before 35 if at all possible - don't want to be trying to get pregnant for first time in late 30s as have seen some of my friends trying and failing to do. so if spend 2 years with james now, and then he decides he doesn't want to get married/ have children, then will be almost 34.

12. am i wasting my time?

13. should i be going to jewish events trying to meet someone else? if my best friend was single too, rather than with her new non-jewish boyfriend, we could do this together. but the events are pretty depressing, so we don't like them. but are we wasting our time with these boys?

14. just spoke to a single schoolfriend of my age. she said 'we have little enough chance to be happy with someone. if someone is making you happy, stay with him. it won't stop you meeting someone else'. is she right? or not?

15. was unable to meet up with a boy from j-date as felt bad re my boyfriend. so can't do jewish internet dating while am with my boyfriend. obviously.

16. he is very bright and we can have good chats about things. he can engage with me on an intellectual level

17. he loves animals

18. he wants to help me make more of own talents - although sometimes goes about it in annoying way. but am training him out of actually criticising me

19. he thinks am AMAZING in many ways, which am, but is surprising how much of an acquired taste i seem to be

20. he has no plans to go to a monastery
    , which is what my last boyfriend did sadly

holiday was not a success. have split up with him. am back on jewish dating site.

am glad am out of the relationship, but sad to be single again, if that makes any sense.

anyway - will let you know if i meet anyone else.

oh god, what happened?

blimey

a rollercoaster thread

OP, I remember your other thread about the previous bf

you are not having much luck, are you ?

I have a friend - late 30s-who is jewish and who wants to meet a man via jewish websites. I did query this with her as it seems to be narrowing the field.

as an aetheist i find it hard to follow how choosing a man on religion is a good idea.

Does your religion mean so much? why not consider a man who is spiritual in some ways but not jewish?

I don't mean this in an unkind way but you sound a very young 32 yr old. and living at home at your age is not good unless there are compelling financial reasons why you have to.