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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

I dont think i love my dp anymore :(

3 replies

somebodynobody · 09/03/2011 11:27

Okay here goes, Iv never spoken to anybody about this but need to get it off my chest somewhere!!...

Me and dp have been toegther for 9 years and have 2 dc! DP was my first and only serious relationship (we were 18 when we met)

DP was always a compulsive liar, whether it be about something big, or tiny little petty things.. like maybe how much something cost, or he'd say something, then in a couple weeks il mention something he said/done and he'd be like, oh sorry that was a lie, or be like no i never said/done that, i found it hugely fustrating but he didnt seem to think it was a big deal. A year ago, in jan/feb, things came to a head when i found out hed lied about something, so silly and petty but I suupposed i just reached a point where enough was enough. we had a huge talk and i told him that i couldnt take the lying anymore and if it didnt stop id leave him (at this point i was begining to doubt that i loved him anymore, tho i didnt tell him this). I think this gave him a shock and he tried his hardest to make it work.

Fastfoward 1 year to today and dp, as far as im aware, dosn't lie or keep anything from me anymore, even if hes done something he knows will annoy me he'l come clean straightaway. Hes a great dad and i know he loves me, and he'l do anything for us.. but i cant help having this sinking feeling in my heart that i just dont love him anymore. We get on great and have a laugh togther, but in the last month or so i find myself not wantin to be intamite with him and its making me feel quite low. DP has picked up on me feeling low and even said "I dont think you love me anymore"... I told him otherwise, but deep down i dont think i do, and i cant bear to tell him because i know i will break his heart. but i feel like im being unfair cause it feels like im lying to him, which i suppose i am.

I dont know what to do, I have nobody in RL i can talk to! I feel like im being such a cow :(

OP posts:
Gomesmum · 09/03/2011 13:17

Could you talk to him about it and get it out in the open and the reasons why you feel you fell out of love with him, talking about it could help you be stronger about the way your feeling and act on it.
Guess it depends what you want to do and whether you want to stay with him.

Lovechilli · 25/07/2013 21:03

Gomesmum is right try to talk to him about it before you decide what you want to do, if you're saying you don't want the intimacy then chances are he may already have guessed something is wrong but doesn't want to bring it up with you

CogitoErgoSometimes · 25/07/2013 22:07

I think that years of lying have erased not just love but also trust and respect. A year ago you were mentally ready to leave and I think you probably should have ended it then rather than give him one last chance. It's pure fluke that he's shaped up.... rarely happens... so now you're left with the booby prize.

He's just too late...

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