Have a bunch of friends from university, we all lived together, but it was quite a bitchy gang of girls.
I was the first to marry of the group, and when we decided to ttc, I managed to get a part-time job - perfect for when DC arrived. DH at that time decided to do some extra training and took a salary cut; so I worked extra and became the main breadwinner for a while - it turned out to be for a few years as having a baby took us a long time.
The friends were incredibily mean about what I was doing. About supporting a man - and about "only" working part-time and not having a job I loved enough to want to do full-time. It hurt so much at the time and filled me with self doubt.
We then ran into a difficult few years - with severe ttc issues, losses, bereavement. I was hurting so badly, I ended up spending time with people who I knew would be nice and supportive (there weren't many but I definitely did not need to be around people who would be bitchy). There were one or two friends who continued to pick up the phone and who I remain friends with.
But this group, were appalling, some more than others.
The one who seemed to care the least I have heard is getting married and I haven't been invited. It does hurt as the rest of the gang I am sure have been; although I do understand that she would only want to invite people who she still sees. From our uni town she has moved to the same town as me and now lives 5minutes up the road, and it is just really sad.
I realise the bitchy comments about my work were probably 'cos they were in a different life stage to me, and because they are a very insecure gang of girls. In some ways would like to try again as did share some good times and I think of them often. I am stronger now so any bitchy comments I could take on the chin. Not being invited feels like the final cutting of the friendship, especially as she was invited to mine. She didn't send anything for DS when he was finally born, didn't reply to the emails we sent her.
I want to be the bigger person and send them a group email suggesting a reunion, explaining that it has been a difficult time but I am trying to move on and would love to be back in touch.
But I don't know whether this would be appropriate or not. Being excluded like this, albeit partly my fault as I was not massively in contact, has really dented my confidence.
Maybe send the email as a last ditch attempt to save things and if I don't get a positive response then think - well I have done all I can, and they weren't true friends?
The other two tried a bit. I do miss them. Please be gentle with replies.. thank you