MIL Hell and Facebook is evil!

[greenzebra]

Why do many MIL's turn insane?
Mine has increasingly turned mad as we progressed through this pregnancy. She has been very overbearing and sensitive.
My DH recently had a arguement with her, and she wouldnt let it lye and keeps bringing it up even though we have told her its over we have moved on, you should too, weve got a baby to think about.
And now shes changed her privacy settings on facebook so that I can't see her wall posts! Whats all that about?
Im worried that she is trying to block me out and thinks Im in some way using her posts against her. I dont know, its facebook? You don't put anything too personal on their anyway, too many people see it.
I think Ive got my work cut out with this one. Its driving me insane as well as her and its not doing my stress levels any good.

Some Mils do go a little crazy when grandchildren come along, I have no idea why.

My mil used to ring me every other day without fail and yet since ds2 has arrived she has only telephoned once in the last year. After ds1 she continued to telephone but only had nasty and spiteful things to say so I think this time she thought it wise to not telephone which is a good thing as I would rather not hear from her if she is going to be nasty.

If I were you I wouldn't mention that you have noticed she has changed her privacy settings. Just try to get on with your own life. If she has gone a little wierd it is for her to deal with, it isn't your problem.

How was your MIL before your wedding? Did she also go weird then? Is your DH her only DC?

I'm wondering if she felt like you took DH away from her and now, with the baby, you will be "taking him away" even more (especially if she and DH have argued).

Some grandmothers-to-be just don't cope well with the prospect of being shunted to the sidelines as the "older generation" once a baby comes along. It's a reminder that they are getting no younger.

Chances are she'll come running and want to be the centre of attention once the baby arrives - then you'll be on here saying she's getting under your feet. Might be useful for babysitting once the baby's older though!

Ignore the Facebook thing. Facebook and family don't mix.

Agree I'd pretend you haven't noticed and imply you don't look at her facebook stuff. If you're having an argument with someone looking at their facebook is never a good idea anyway. Just block her from seeing your stuff and get on with life. Not sure why it's driving you insane, sounds like you're overthinking her tantrum.

greenzebra,

Well its not you, its her. She was made this way by other people (probably her own parents). She was likely overbearing and difficult prior to your pregnancy as well.

How is the relationship between your H and his mother; have they always had a difficult relationship?. If your DH has siblings how does she get along with them?.

If you yourself have fortunately come from a family where such familial dysfunction is unknown, this type of awful behaviour is doubly difficult to deal with.

Would suggest that your H and you present and continue to present a united front to her.

I dunno. Some MILs are peculiar. I'm a peculiar MIL myself. However...

"My DH recently had a arguement with her, and she wouldnt let it lye and keeps bringing it up even though we have told her its over we have moved on, you should too, weve got a baby to think about."

I think it depends to some extent what the argument was about. Just because one party had moved on doesn't mean the other party is able to. Maybe it was something petty and silly which adults should be able to move past, but on the other hand it may have really hurt her. Suppose, oh, say somebody in the pub said randomly "You're f'ing ugly", then just expected you to soak it up and be best mates because he's "moved on"? So... reserving judgement in the absence of further evidence.

Some people are bad at letting something go unless they have the last word though. My son used to be terrible with this. He'd keep bringing up the same subject over and over again when everyone else had got fed up with it and arguments had become circular. You can't have an argument on your own. If the other party no longer wants to discuss that topic you should let it drop as you aren't going to get anywhere with it, even if it is really important to you.

Agree with Anniegetyourgun. Sounds like she's still upset. What was the argument about?

Thanks so much guys!

My DH has never really got on with his mum, she used to ignore him alot during his teenage years. They had got better when we got together, but slowly over the past few months its been getting bad again. He is one of five boys, hes the oldest, she has a favourite the second oldest and hes just moved back in. And all we hear about is him. She so much in love with him its annoying to see the other boys suffer, expecially considering the youngest is 8. Anyway.

The argument was about parenting, my DH wasnt happy about the way she was treating the youngest on his birthday, and then she said when your baby is born and started threathening my DH about what she going to do. He ended up storming out. But his argument has been festering for a month but wo thought it was over but it is she brought it up again and tried to use me against my DH, but I told her the argument wasnt to do with me, its between you and my DH. She didnt like it.

We are giving the in laws a wide berth at the moment Im having a pretty rough pregnancy and we have just bought a house so we need some support really not stress. It doesnt help either that my parents are away visiting my brother in OZ.