Nervous hello - forever single

[allmyfriendsaremarried]

Hey, I usually just lurk on here as I don't really think anyone will think I'm normal. I am 28 and would love to have a family but for one small problem. I am yet to find any man who can appreciate what I have to offer, or even be remotely interested in me. My sister has two lovely children and is very jealous of my lifestyle. But she doesn't understand just how lonely it is. Most of my friends are now married with children and so my social circle has narrowed somewhat. I do go out and have hobbies were I meet people, just never find anyone who is interested in me as more than a friend. My job is not well paid and work long hours which does not help either. I also paid a lot of money to go on match.com last year and couldn't even get any interest off there. My friends are all lovely and don't understand why I never find anyone, after 10 years of saying 'the right one will come along,' even they are now saying to be positive and just enjoy not having to pick up after someone. So should I just give up or am I really being silly.

Just wanted to return to this thread to share a piece of advice that I read recently.

Imagine that you knew you were going to meet "the one" a year from today. What would you do in the coming year? Once you've decided... do it!

Hi

Just wanted to sympathise.
Ive been single for 2.5 years and yes, sometimes it gets loney.

Ive done the dating site thing, both paid and free sites ( there is no difference between the two) and really, its a mugs game. I think the odds are stacked aganist it. But if you are looking for a shag.. then it can work. But god. the weirdos on there, it can get a bit depressing and make you even more despondent.

Ive also taken the advice others have given on this thread and done things for me, thrown myself into life... and im still single!!

Im now a more rounded, cultured person, i do exciting things, i have hobbies and interests etc.. and being honest, thats not helped matteres at all. In fact i think it has put some men off ( obviously they are idiots for being like that, but its a fact)

Ive decided to cancel all my dating profiles and just live my life from now on and i feel a bit of weight has been lifted off my shoulders.

I usually go by the reasoning "These people are on dating sites for a reason".

^

I'm in a similar situation to you OP, except I also have a disability so if I get down it's because I think no one will want a cripple.
I am on match.com at the moment and I've been so surprised. Before I met no one nice; this time round there have been so many nice, attractive, intelligent men. I've had 4 dates this year. The first one was dodgy and then the next 3 were fantastic.
I'm not going out with any of them but we are friends and who knows if something will develop from there.
I'm trying to join lots of groups too so that my self-esteem can get a bit better and I can just have some fun and not necessarily always be looking for a man. It's so hard though isn't it? I'm sure you're the same as me - have lots of love to give, you just need the right person to come along and fall in love with you.
PM me if you ever want to chat.

tookool and ohboob. I know how you feel, although I have now met someone I was single for years and it made me very sad at the time. I agree with what someone said, that you have to focus on building up your own life - but I still think it's okay (important even) to say you want to meet someone. Single people get told all the time 'oh stop thinking about it and it'll happen'. I think thats just annoying to be honest.

If you put energy into enjoying life and following your passions and interests, and decide you want to meet new people and make friends, then I do think that somewhere down that path, you will find the right man who will love you for who you are.

It's absolutely naff - but also true! that you have to love yourself before someone else can love you.

In the end, although I was running around trying to make new friends and having a good time, I met my boyfriend through work - which is my passion also - we have a huge amount in common and it was our passion for what we do that brought us together. So I know that it was by following my heart to do the work I love that I found him.

It is bloody hard to stay cheerful sometimes when you wonder why you are single - but like I said before, make sure there aren't issues holding you back that could be helped with some therapy.

Thank you waterrat

OP, you are still so young! I didn't have my first proper relationship till I was 28. I didn't meet DP till I was 37. I though I'd never meet anybody, let alone have children. I have one DD at 40, now 42 am expecting again.

Not everybody meets people and has babies at the same time.

If you do want to date and meet some men, not all men on dating sites are tossers. Many are in the same boat. I know two male friends who met their wives on dating sites. There are many men who are genuine. There are others that are not but you meet them in bars too. If you chatted to as many men in bars as you did on dating websites, its about the same proportion!
See any activity on dating websites as an add on to your current social life.