help!

[refmum]

Separated from husband at new year,he suggested it,we both knew it was the right thing to do.

He moved out (forces house) i stayed in house,but have to be out by May 31st (eviction day)

I have found a house to rent for myself and our 4 sons,we move in 2 weeks.

Husband has started texting me asking him if i still love him? Texting in middle of night etc...i turn phone to silent so i read the texts in the morning.

He's been out drinking and this is when he texts me in the night.

I feel unsettled,don't know what's to come next,he seems very mixed up.

do you still love him?

no

he's the father of our children and i care about how he is etc..but we separated as we could no longer live together,it wasn't working,he suggested the separation..

Is he just texting you out of loneliness?

Sounds like the classic case of a man who suddenly realises the grass isn't actually greener out of the relationship!

He may well be realising how much you and the relationship did for him and missing it. Doesn't mean the relationship is likely to be any better now if you did get back together but it a stage that he is probably going through, of loneliness and regret.

Bluntly, he needs to get a (new) life

yes,i think maybe when he suggested we separate he didn't think i'd agree,but agree i did and i'm making a new life.

He does seem to text me when he's at a loose end (charming!)don't hear from him at all when he's got company.

I suppose he has to get used to the idea that you aren't going to solve his problems for him any more.

It is still very early days. Are you absolutely sure that there is no turning back?

yes

I think you need to ask him to stop texting you or just ignore the texts so he gets bored of it.

Are you scared he might turn up in the night or be violent?

Does he know your new address? If not then I'd suggest keeping contact somewhere neutral, if you are afraid of him.

If you're not, then ignore that.

I'd like to ask him to stop texting me,i ignore many of the texts but then he texts me asking why i am not replying to his texts.

He knows where i'm moving to,he will be collecting the boys from me when he takes them out.

I'm not too worried about him turning up in the night,but haven't moved yet so will wait and see.

I don't know what's going on with him,he's been fine but this last week he's changed,it's un-nerving tbh.

When he comes to take/drop off the boys he hardly meets my eye contact and scuttles off? he only seems able to ask me things through texts.

I think you need to change your number or have a separate phone/email that he uses to contact you about the kids...which you make clear that you will only check between such-and-such a time.

He's definately going through thr regret stage.
Mine did this. He actually had some sort of breakdown because he couldn't cope and then re-wrote the history of what happened in his head so that he could live with it better.

Expect weirdness

i am expecting much weirdness