Can someone please explain some basics to DH:

[Numberfour]

1. If you do not take out life insurance and something happens to you, then DS and I will be left with nothing to keep us going.

1. If you do not go to the dentist, no matter how petrified you are, it will land up being EXTREMELY unpleasant at a later date. Using the fact that it will cost too much money to go is not an excuse. Just go for a check up and to get some idea of what needs to be done.

1. If your father had diabetes, there is a good chance you could develop it so the earlier you get tested the better. It need not change your life if you get it checked.

Or am I being ridiculous as opposed to unreasonable?

A friend has told me that it is the way that I talk to DH rather than what I am saying. Any thoughts???

I think you are being unreasonable and controlling. They are his teeth etc...

Okay, I will consider giving up on the teeth issue. Fair point. Maybe same applies re the diabetes matter.

Life insurance: am I being unreasonable there too?

I think I am rather controlling so I am willing to work on that part!!

I am too, but I have had to learn to stop! You can tell someone how you feel, and set boundaries, but can't control what they do, and certainly not in relation to their own self care.

You can tell him that having no life insurance makes you feel insecure, but you can't make him get any.

It is hard, but once you get the hang of it, very freeing!

Yabu.

he is a grown man, let him make his own decisions and choices

My husband got life insurance on me without much discussion, looks after himself almost as well as I would like him too and doesn't always listen to me but does when it really really matters.

I am so glad I am single. If you talked to me the way you have written these things down, I would tell you to sod off.

The life insurance is important, esp. if you don't work. I would be annoyed if my husband refused to sort it.

I took out life insurance on my DH. He didn't need to be involved. The rest are his responsibility. He's a grown man, leave him alone, and he will have to live with the consequences.

Could you arrange for joint life insurance, so you organise it and then you both sign? He'll be just as up the creek if you die.

Queenofwhatever, I need to hear that kind of thing because I KNOW I am unfair sometimes! Believe it or not, I think I am getting better.

I did not realise that I could arrange cover on his life without his involvement (controlling and dim.....?).

I don't have much to leave him and DS if I die, and same with him if he dies. Okay, i will sort it myself.

Thanks for the input! I do appreciate it. Think I need to let go a bit more.....

Stream, I am in the process of arranging joint life cover (neither of us have any assets so if one dies, the other is a bit stuck and we hav a 6 yr old son). He just needs to make himself available for the telephonic medical interview. Hopefully he will be able to do that next week.

It isn't about having anything to leave him. My dh has my life insured as he would be stuffed without me as I am a sahm. He would need to get a nanny to care for our children and the life insurance would go towards that. His life is insured so that I have sufficient money to bring up our children as he is the only wage earner.

life insurance should be a joint fdecision, but the rest all you can do is give your opinion

he's an adult not a child. this is completely the wrong tone to have in an equal partnership. make your point. he makes his decision. move on. if it's something you feel is so important you can't move on leave the relationship.

tbh if even your RL friend is telling you your tone is wrong you need to take heed. one day he might decide enough is enough and leave. life insurance or no life insurance. no man needs a mother for a wife.

(i think you can insure yourself against death of husband.)

"I don't have much to leave him and DS if I die"

no but that isn't what life insurance is all about. if you die who would take over your role in the home (presumably you are primary childcare?). this would incur extra costs and responsibilities - would your DH have to give up work or hire a nanny for example?

the amount you are insured for has nothing to do with your earning potential. however it will impact on the monthly premium.

Life insurance, definately important. Especially if he is willing to turn a blind eye to potential life threatening health problems.

Organise joint insurance, put the paperwork in front of him to sign, job done!

Actually, I don't think you are being controlling, I think you are being sensible. If people love and care for each other they should be doing things to ensure that they will not die prematurely/cost the family an unnecessary load of money. If they don't wish to do do these things for their loved ones, they should not have started a family in the first place.

1. Life insurance. It's something everyone should have sorted when they have children. If you are opposed to insurance, fair enough but then be sure that you have a will with guardianship set up with people who are willing to take on that financial commitment should the worst happen.

2. Dental work - if someone's mouth is not pleasant to kiss, they should sort it out, it is disrespectful not to. Dental fear is really no excuse, there are many dentists with special "fear" programmes and maintenance of teeth with a good, trustworthy dentist saves expensive work in the long run. The only time I'd give someone a lot of leeway is if they have been sexually abused as a child as dentistry is often an extremely difficult procedure to endure in this case.

3. Diabetes check - sensible, pain free and something every NHS GP is now being instructed to invite all of their patients over 40 for