New man, perfect except in the bedroom :-S

[LilllyLovesLife]

I have met a new man, after being with several total loosers who have treated me like crap. This new man is lovely, kind and treats me like I am the most amazing thing in the world.

BUT the sex just isn't the same. The first time we did it, he couldn't hold his erection. He said he was really nervous (which I could sense anyway) and I didn't mind at all, just felt a bit sorry for him.

BUT a month down the line, he is still having the same issue, and just generally doesn't seem bothered by it. We end up in bed every time we see each other, and it has got a bit better but it's just not right. He said that he just feels that sex isn't everything and that he is just as happy to just cuddle etc.

While I agree that sex isn't everything, I do think it is important. I have just come out of a 7 year marriage and still at the end we had a very active and interesting sex life. I feel like it should be new and exciting and not something that is so much of an issue.

Any ideas what I can do? I am a regular but I have name changed. I am usually on the lone parents board and totally new to this section.

But don't let it go on for ever.

When my BF and I first got together the sex wasn't that great either: he wouldn't perform oral sex on me, it was pretty boring, etc. This was an issue for me because sex is very important to me in a relationship... He knew this and kept telling me to just give him time. I stuck around because I really loved him and he was great in every other way. It eventually sorted itself out after three months or so; now it's the best sex I've ever had in my life, honestly.

I'd wait for a little while longer, also try to initiate other fun stuff without 'pushing' it onto him... I think the key is to make it sound like something you do for him. "I want to make you feel good, let's try this and this". If the issue is really with him not being able to get a decent erection, just don't mention it for a while and focus on other things -- while I honestly couldn't have a 100% fulfilling sex life without penetrative sex in it, it's not the alpha and omega of good sex either. If then it still doesn't get better and he has no intention of improving that part of him, you'd probably be best off without him. What seems like 'oh, it's only sex' in the beginning really becomes a huge issue after a couple of years.

Good luck!

Thanks again for the replies. The later few replies were more the response I was expecting! Rather than being told to dump him!

We haven't spoken about it since and have since had sex. It was better than previous times and we managed to have full sex and he "came" which I think was a first. So we are making progress!

I think we are getting more and more relaxed about it and I am hoping the rest comes in time! Will keep you updated!

Hmmm. I think Id be experimenting, trying to find out what turns him on and what gets him really excited. Maybe not having full on sex for a while, just work on satisfying him in other ways, and both learning how the other ticks.

That's quite a good idea - and sounds quite fun!