losing strength and direction

[Cookiemg]

I don't know what to do or think, my husband and I have a 2 year old and have been married for 4 years. My husband is a great provider we have a beautiful home and have a lot of great friends together but we have no passion in our relationship. We had an amazing party lifestyle before the baby came along and that has become so diluted now, last Sat night he spent the evening doing housework until I screamed that I couldn't take it any more. I have met a guy at work who I have so much in common with and who seems to appreciate me, we ate both from artistic backgrounds, this has brought how lacking I feel in my marriage into Sharp focus and although coming close in my mind I would never cheat.

I'm a creative person and so far have no outlet for that and no career. Dramatic as it sounds it is as though my soul is dying and I'm living strength and focus to carry on.

What is the best thing for myself and dd?

Do you love your husband?

I am in same boat exactly.I love mine but am not in love with him. He is like a brother to me.

I feel numb towards him. I'm sorry that you are feeling the same way, sucks doesn't it.

Yes its awful. I feel like I am dying inside. I know that meeting the man I am attracted to as compounded it. I was bobbing along though I knew it was not right. We have not had sex in 4 yrs

I feel the same about cheating but I cannot go on like this. My dh is always cleaning and doing laundry too. I feel like screaming too. Sad thing is that he knows somethings wrong and it would finish him if i ended it.

Has anything happened with this man you like? Have you talked?

He's a work colleague and my feelings reached a point of intensity that I had to say something or I wasn't going to be able to concentrate on work so I told him that in a parallel universe I would so ask him out. The notion of an affair has died down thank god but I'm left feeling so unfulfilled, I haven't had sex for 2.5 years. Do you have children? Have you spoken to your husband about it? I am up and down all the time and have spoken to him about how I feel that there is no passion there but he has his head in the sand and doesn't know what to do so is doubt nothing.

Smart phone typing that was "doing" nothing.

I have two young children.I have no talked to him, he was never big on sex.He has head in the sand too. I have not spoken to the man i know but its all in the air like electricity.

I have been married before suffered a terrible time and when i met dh i was just happy to be loved and cared for.The children are everything to me. But i long to be intimate but sadly not with him.

Brave you for telling the man how you felt.What are his circumstances? The man I know is in the same situation with his wife, that makes it even harder

Like you mine is not big on sex so has never pushed for it throughout the drought, when I met him I.had come out of a lonely 5 year relationship and felt similar to how I'm feeling now and my now husband provided all the passion and attention that I had been missing and we were very in love.

It's so.hard when you have children isn't it?

I don't see any future with other man he's just someone who has 'turned my head'. Are you considering counselling, do you want to keep the family together? Would you do it for your kids and put your needs to one side, I know that I couldn't sustain this.

Mine has erectile problems, we went to psychosexual counselling way back and it did help but with a small child the thoughtful having to go through the 'therapeutic programme' has been too much, I wonder if this has been a major barrier in us drifting apart.

I am mixed up

I have been through so much in my life that I kind of have an attitude that if its not right move on.I am a bit of a survivor in that way.

But it is the kids. If it was just us we would have last 18mths

The problem for me is that this other man is now constantly on my mind.He has been married for years and has grandchildren.I know he has feelings for me,he has made that obvious but its hard

If I think ahead I cannot bear the thought that this is it for me.My dh cannot give me what i need on so many levels and I cannot live like this,its tearing me up

Even if I am alone for the rest of my life its better than living this half life surely

What about you? Can you fix it?

God, I don't know, I really feel for you it sounds like something is going to.have to give in your situation, you need to tell dh how you feel you need to have some honest discussion. Through talking to.you I have realised how important sex is to make you feel healthy and attractive....in our situations we've been unhealthy for a long time.

I don't want to pile on the terrible feelings but the kids must know that you're unhappy on a level. I have been through a lot in life too and have a very similar move on attitude, don't waste any more time things that ain't working.

I agree, if this falls apart I'm.never doing it again, I'm.just having lovers!

I have been married for 9 years. We have an 18 month old child. We have not had sex or been intimate since we found out I was pregnant. He does not seem to care. It doesn't bother him at all. I used to bring the sex issue up with no resolution and now I just don't care anymore. I often think about cheating and even wish that I could become the type of woman that cheats. I often wish I meet someone that I would feel strongly about so that I could chest. I think of divorcing him... And I really wish I didn't care about him or have feelings for him. I feel bad for my child. I am depressed, miserable, and feel desperate! I am dying inside and feel so alone... No one to share with. Help