so where do I go from here?

[memorylapse]

so following on from this thread
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/1103288-How-to-recover-from-an-emotional-affair

more chats with h have established that he is no longer in love with me and the marriage is over (is has been really since christmas but weve just been coasting)

Im not convinced that things havent stepped up with OW..or that he would like them to..

big problem though..he wants us to be seperated but still in the same house!! he is refusing point blank to leave and today I went to the CAB who told me that I cannot legally throw him out as his name is on the tenancy agreement and its his home to..so where the heck do I go from here? I have no where to go otherwise I would leave..but I have 4 children at home so its not just a case of me going..is there any way I can get him out?

Sorry memory I can't really advise, just didn't want your thread to go unanswered and wanted to bump it in the hope that other MNers may be able to help.
Hope you're ok x

Bump

Thanks both..long talks last night have resulted in him agreeing to move out on monday

What the CAB failled to tell you is what the realistic consequences of throwing him out when the tennancy is in his name are.

If he wanted to get his house back from you the police wont be interested in throwing you and your 4 children out, he would have to take it through the civil courts and get this order, or that order. It's really a load of old beurocracy.

If it's a private landlord then it's likely you can renegotiate a new tennancy in your own name.

If it's a social landlord then the eviction process would take months, if not years.

The CAB are great and averything, but they are not always very experienced in what they're advising. Nor am I if we're gonna be fair about it. Shelter are though. This is them.

that is great news Memory
Go on, give us a smile instead of the blue face
You will be ok
Nothing in life needs to be definite if the 2 parties care enough. But at this stage it is for the best, else you would have lost all your self respect dragging this thing along

Thanks underacheiving

Justforthisone..I think its sadness that its finally over..I know I will be fine..I have already enlisted the services of a personal trainer to get my neglected body back into shape and give me back my self esteem

You WILL be fine and getting in to shape is an excellent idea. (endorphins and all that jazz)