Husband says he doesn't love me anymore, but remains living in our house. HELP!

[2ismorethanenough]

Hi all.
My husband and i have been together for 13 years and married for over 6. We have two gorgeous children aged 5 and 3.

My husband has been distancing himself from me for some months now. When i have questioned him he has given reasons such as 'i'm tired' and 'work is stressful' and 'my arm hurts all the time' (he broke his elbow in the summer). 3 weeks ago he finally confessed that he no longer loves me and that he has been burying his head.

He left to stay with his parents around the corner for a week but kept coming round daily early morning before work and after work until evening to keep things 'normal' for the children. We have always been close. We have never had a lot of money and my husband has always worked hard at his career as a teacher. I am an Occupational therapsist and being the primary caregiver i only work part time.

Currently my husband is lving back at our home as he said he missed the children too much and felt unable to protect them overnight while away. He is sleeping on the sofa. We are being polite to each other but inside i am screaming. I cry myself to sleep every night and i am devastated. We are starting Relate counselling next week but going for different reasons. I want to fix our marriage and he wants to go for advice on how to leave me and how to tell the children etc....Im so desparate.

I want to hold onto him but i know i can't make him love me. I don't want to let him go but i know i can't make him stay. I am going out of my mind. I am feeling all kinds of emotion. I am angry that he buried his head and 'allowed' himself to fall out of love with me. I am worried he may have let another woman enter his head and even worse, his heart (he denies this) and i am so incredibly sad that my world and future has been turned upside down and that my children are likely to have a split family.

Any advice on what i do or what you think will happen etc gratefully recieved as i'm desparate.
Many thanks
Kim

2ismore, just wondering how things are with you today? How are you feeling? How are DC's coping?

Hey JB, another typical day. DH went to work and was late back. I actually cried at the dinner table in front of my 2 children today (while DH at work). I felt really bad and ashamed but they were so lovely. My DH has been so distant from me for so long i think i actually crave love and passion and affection. I look at DH and wonder if i will ever get or even want it from him again! My emotions yo yo so much i don't know quite which feelings to trust! How are you doing? x

Well I have had an up an down day today fairly optimistic this morning, but come this evening got real upset and instead of reading bedtime story to 4 and 6 year old sat an cried, while they gave me hugs and told me not to cry. It really is hard I want to be loved, hugged and cared for and realise DH has not been there for me for a long time really and that hurts. He came to see children yesterday and I saw him for the pratt he has become when he told me I had coached DD in what to say to him. There is no way I would do that.
Children are resiliant, and though trying not to cry infront of them is a good stratergy, they need to see that we are affected by changes that are happening in life this gives them permission to be sad and upset by the changes going on in there lives.

Really? Nice advert. And nice hijacking another thread.

Take your name out of your message.

A spellcaster! Sounds absolutely brilliant. And no doubt a way to solve many of life's problems.

OP, I think you need to get practical here and see a solicitor. He sounds very much as if his mind is made up. He will move out when he has his ducks in a row, believe me. I suspect that in suddenly wanting to spend more time with the children, he is trying to undermine your position as primary carer so 50/50 is given and he doesn't have to pay maintenance. Don't go to counselling with him when you have such different aims. Tell him you expect him to move out and keep saying it until you can get an occupation order.

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Zombie thread resurrected by bloody spellcasting spammers. Appropriate I suppose.

Aaaah zombie!! How annoying.

Zombie bastard spellcunters

Well I've been married for 21yrs with 5 wonderful kids oldest boy turning 20 in a few days , another boy 18yrs old in boot camp to become a marine 2 teenage girls 15 & 13 and my baby 9 yrs old. My husband told me doesn't love anymore he had left and was living w a younger woman which she was working on her divorce having herself 2 kids. My husband came back to me and has been with me for about 4 to 3 months but recently told me that he didn't love me and that he couldn't give me what I ask of him his love that he only appreciates what I do for him. I asked him to leave but he doesn't want to and I told him that being here w me breaks my heart even more everyday but he doesn't get it and acts like nothing is going on. I love him so much and it really hurts that he just gave up 😭

Hello... my husband told me after Xmas he doesn't love me after I asked why he's been ignoring me for months; he said I should of got the hint...
I begged for another go but months later he's blanking me again and just playing wit the kids. We have been living together for 18 years and married for 12. He's 40 this year and kept saying life's too short but I'm deverstated as I know he never wanted things to work as he's just hinted again to me. I'm sleeping next to him and he not look or talk to me. Is there someone else? Or does he think he's too good for me.

Hello everyone i seen this and figured I'd reach out because 1 day ago my husband came home from work and said he dont love me anymore he staying with his mom i have 3 kids 10 7 and 3 im having a hard time staying alone with 3 kids it feels like im dying inside

I'm another one.....
Husband told me 2 months ago he didn't love me & wanted time on his own. He had been harbouring feelings for nearly a year, I knew something was up but everytime I asked he replied with nothing, plus he recently hit 40 & he was finding that difficult!
I convinced him to stay & try but each time it works for a few days & he becomes more distant. Last week he said it was over & is looking for somewhere to rent.
I love him so much, he is the only one I've ever felt fully able to open up too, he is my best friend. I'm very lost, have loads of different feelings, cant concentrate, eat, sleep or drink & feel generally worthless, all I seem to do is cry. I know I need to get it together for both me & our 2 children but really finding it difficult to function.
Been together 13.5 years, married 9 nxt month.

Zombie! Please start your own thread.

Ebko its hard message me we can stay strong together i havent ate its hard to sleep we told my children today he left i was there dealing with tears n questions its hard feels like im dying!

Hi, this thread was started back in 2011 and the OP hasn't posted on the site for years, so we're going to close this thread now to prevent it from being repeatedly reinstated.

People are more than welcome to start a new thread if they're in a similar situation and need advice.