Struggling following dh's redundancy

[strugglingwiththis]

Dh was made redundant 3 weeks ago. We have all been used to him earning a decent salary. He was unhappy in his job before being made redundant, so has been jobseeking for a year or so. Trouble is, he now feels that he is on the scrapheap and has no chance of getting a reasonable job. He basically feels that our lives are ruined. We are locked into an expensive fixed-rate mortgage (over a thousand a month, although we're in a fairly small 3-bed semi) so that doesn't help.

He has had a few interviews since being made redundant but nothing has come of them.

We have enough savings to keep us going for several months, and my parents have offered to help out, so we're a lot better off than many people. I work 3 days a week and have asked if my hours can be increased to full time, though I don't know if that will be possible because cuts are being made at my work too.

I know things could be tough for us following the redundancy, but I like to think there is hope that dh could get a job in the medium term and that even if it's on an average-ish salary, even if we have to move to a rented flat, we could still work out a way to manage. But dh feels like I'm not supporting him because I disagree with him when he says it's hopeless and he has no chance of finding a suitable job. :(

So, should I be just sympathising and saying "yes, our lives are ruined." I don't really believe that. How can I support him to get through this?

Well you're right, he's wrong and you sound admirably together with all of this. Give your DH a bit of time - it's a hell of a blow to the self-esteem and he's not going to be at his most rational, especially not 3 weeks in. Count to ten a lot, and keep an eye out for depression. I really hope he finds something soon.

Can he get funding to retrain, is there something that he is really interested in? If he was job hunting unsuccesfully for a year whilst working, he was either unlucky or perhaps his heart was not in it. It sounds like he has lost direction. It would help if he had some real career advice to discuss his options.

I can understand this would take its toll on the family though. You have my sympathy.

He has looked at retraining - he thought about going into teaching but the starting salary for a newly-qualified teacher is only 21k and we would struggle on that, probably not be able to afford holidays or save for the future so it doesn't seem like a long term solution. Careers advice sounds a good idea.