How do I get out...

[wrongagain]

Basically, my dp and I are on the rocks, have been for a while now and it looks like there is no going forward anymore.

Problem is, I know that he won't leave our rented flat, and once it's over for good he'll expect me to leave. Our landlord wouldn't let me stay anyway as I don't earn enough to cover rent and bills and would need to claim housing benefit.
I have no where to go that I could take DS with me, dads house is overcrowded as it is, have no friends that could put me up and my nan is in her 70's and couldn't deal with 2yo DS on a daily basis.
I have no money behind me, so no deposit to rent somewhere and would have to find a landlord that would accept housing benefit. All of this takes time and if I were to go, I would have to go on the day, no hanging around.
How the hell do I get out??
Also to add to this, I work nights, and if I don't work I don't earn. Obviously dp would be having overnight access on a 50/50 basis. But I can't see this happening from the beginning. So I could end up homeless with no money. I can't seem to find my way out.

Help!

you need to go to your benefit office and explain the situation - that your relationship has irreparably broken down and this has left your son and you effectively homeless. dealing with benefits people can be soul destroying and frustrating but try to keep calm and keep at it.

" All of this takes time and if I were to go, I would have to go on the day, no hanging around."
Why do you say this?
Has he been threatening / violent?

No, not threatening or violent, he's just very difficult to live with, especially at the moment. He's the kind of person who would rather me just get out and that be that. Plus, if he knew I was leaving he would make it very difficult for me to take DS.

If your family can't help with anywhere to stay, could they help at all financially? Or go guarantor?

Is there any possibility of you putting some money aside and scraping enough together yourself over the next couple of months (I realise you might well have nothing left over to save after living costs).

I would not pass on the opportunity to try getting help from your Council as Smashing said ^
and by the sound of your last post even if that meant going into a women hostel

You'll have to do what I did - look for a house in secret and then move out while he is at work. You need to save up or borrow a deposit + first month's rent (2 months preferably because housing benefit can take a while to come through) and then you need to find a landlord who takes HB. Easier said than done. Avoid rightmove, it will just depress you. Some agencies will be willing (ask housing officer at local council) but often require a guarantor with a certain level of income. Often 3x the rent. Look in local papers, post office/supermarket notice boards, gumtree, friday-ad etc. Even if they say no HB on the ad, arrange to meet them and appear respectable - they might make an exception once they have met you and you don't look like their idea of a "benefits scrounger". If the reason is because of their mortgage though they still might not be able to let to you. You should speak to the housing officer at the council as well and get onto the council housing list. If they deem your current situation is damaging your health and wellbeing then that will bump you up the list, but it depends on their discretion.

If you were to stay in the flat it might be worth finding out how much you could claim in HB to top up your income, though this doesn't solve the childcare problem.

You need another address you can send correspondence to - your dad's? Or a work address. And open a bank account asking them to only send paperwork to this address too, for the savings/borrowing.

Working nights could be a problem with childcare. It might be that you will have to stop work - I don't know where this leaves you WRT benefits. I think Income Support (which you get as a lone parent) is not dependent on income or employment status.

In what ways does he make life difficult? If he is controlling etc you could live in a women's hostel temporarily. Phone women's aid who will be able to advise on this. 0808 2000 247. I don't know whether they would be able to help with childcare to keep you working, or not.

It took me 3 months to find a house and this was constant searching - it was incredibly stressful knowing I was going but not being able to go or say anything about it. But I am glad I did it this way. It saved a lot of hassle from XP and it was a lot better for DS who didn't witness any of the arguments etc around it.

Also - HB rates are due to change in April. Probably more worth taking into account than the current rate.

www.voa.gov.uk/LHADirect/Documents/LHA_percentile_rates_Feb_2011.html

If you go to entitledto.com, you can put your income in there and all your details assuming you are a single parent, with the current maximum for a 2-bed house in your area, and it will tell you how much HB you would get. You can then work out from this the percentage of your rent which will be covered by HB and apply that percentage to the new figure. If that sounds too complicated you could post the figures here or PM me if you want, I'm quite good at maths.

Take a look at thisHERE

Agree with Bertie about fiding out what benefits you are entiltied to now.

Your other option is to contact Shelter HERE they may be able to find you somewhere to go in an emergency situation.

'finding'