want to end marriage but he won't leave!

[picklebum2011]

The title says it all really. The house was my husbands before we got together and despite knowing that i have a legal right he is saying he won't move out. We already sleep separetley he always makes excuses about not coming to bed, he's not tired or his back hurts so now it's just become a given that he just doesn't! He says that if i'm the one who wants to end it then i should go but i have just finished maternity leave and have no money to move out on my own with my 7 mth old dd and where would i go!!! He says if not then we'll both have to stay in the same house but i can't stand to see him and i don't want to keep arguing in front of dd. He also keeps saying why can't it work but i'm just at the end of my tether now. We haven't been getting on for a while and i put a lot down to hormones and his mother ruining the day i gave birth but that's another story!! But things just don't seem to be getting any better, we never spend time together i feel as though i'm alreay single and feel really rejected that we're not sleeping together in the same bed i think that's made a lot of the intimacy go away now if he does reach for a cuddle (very occasionally) it feels weird which isn't right. I don't want my dd to come from a broken home but i'm sick of being unhappy and feeling like i'm trapped in an unhappy marriage as i know dd will pick up on this as she gets older. I just know i'm going to have a battle on my hands trying to get him to go not to mention his mother and sister on my case!! I also worry that he will try and take dd when i'm asleep as he threatened this once before, she is my world!! Any advice please... I feel like i'm a heartless bitch for wanting him out but i just want to feel happy.

You can't make him leave the house. You have a legal right to be there - but that only means he can't kick you out, not that you can kick him out! I wouldn't move out either, and tbh I can't see why men ever agree to. You can wait until it's sold.

Thanks for replies. Me an Dh have lived together five years and he's had the house for 8 he used to rent it out. My name is on the mortgage because we added to the mortgage to clear dh's debts.
I don't want to give in really we had a good chat last night and are going to both try harder. Counselling is something we could try i'll broach the subject tonight. I think what's upset me the most is the sleeping seperately i feel like it has made us seperate people and when i spoke to dh about this he agreed. I have been feeling really exhausted lately as dd wakes constantly at the moment and i've always been the one to go to her. (dh claims he never hears her)We'e agreed to try and work as a partnership a bit more. I'm going to start supply teaching in a couple of weeks which will help out with money. My mil was awful to me when dd was born as she wasn't allowed in to see us and blamed me. I'd had a long labour they'd closed the labour ward because they were at capacity and they were waiting to find me a bed this was about 9 at night. I'd had an epiural in all day so wasn't allowed to get up till next day. She was really awful to me on the phone and it took ages for that hurt to go i was upset with dh for not saying anything to her, I guess i've built up resentment about this which hasn't helped us. Anyway sorry for rambling on thanks for replies.

Glad you had a good talk op. I must say, if my dh didn't have a serious word with mil for being so rude I would resent him too! I think that issue needs to be looked at, dealt with and then put to bed. It's not too late for your dh to speak up to his mother, and it is very necessary, for the respect you had for him to come back.

Hope he agrees to help more, and listens out for the crying baby. Good luck.

I think if it was his house before you got together and its you that wants to end it, you cant really expect him to leave?
I totally understand about where are you going to go and how will you manage because im in a similar situation myself but surely if you were that unhappy you could approach the council or family to see if you can get some housing just for now until you are financially stable enough to rent or buy something of your own.

I do think that perhaps some cousnelling might be a good idea at he moment though as you sound like you had a difficult time at the birth and thhe baby is still so young