When sex is just sex

[theyCallMeHer]

My married friends can't understand this, and it infuriates me.
Just because I have children does not mean I should live like a nun, ddoes not mean every man should be carefully vetted and it doesn't mean I am desperately missing my exH because I chooose to have responsible carefree sex.

Single Woman Has Sex Shocker!!

Then don't talk about your sex life around them.

Jealousy is a terrible thing IME

What do you mean every man needn't be carefully vetted? Don't you have a new stalker?!
fwiw, I have a single mum friend (I am one too fwiw) whose behaviour I do deplore as she will shag anything that moves, dumps her daughter on who ever will have her several nights a week so she can go out on the pull, introduces her daughter far too quickly and is generally just an emotionally fucked up person, all the whole declaring there's nothing wrong with her behaviour. Her daughter is only just 4 and has had 6 men introduced to her in the last 2 years. But this is my friend, not you.
Your behaviour is up to you, but when you have dc then I think your morals do change, and you have to tread far more carefully than if you had none. This friend, for example would go back to complete strangers houses, she did internet dating and met at their place, often staying over. Silly, dangerous behaviour that would impact her daughter if things turned sour.

ooo look at my odd italics

They're more than likely just jealous of your ability to be free and easy.

I'm assuming that this is just no strings shagging and not relationships where the kids are introduced? If so, then have at it as long as you are making sure that you're safe. I.e. that someone knows where you are, where you're meeting and the name of the person you're hooking up with etc.
Boobooglass, why would you get abuse? I agree with you fwiw. Having fun and being carefree sexually is fine as long as there's no impact upon your children!

I'm married and remember having sex without all the complications of relationships. As long as you are sensible and careful (avoid behaving like Boo Boo's friend), have fun and enjoy

I should say she's an ex friend too. I had enough at the end of last year and haven't spoken to her since. She'd brought a man home after their first meeting and he was introduced toher dd when she came back from her grandma's. There was plenty of time to shoo him away but she felt it appropriate to introduce the guy. Silly silly girl. She thought I was a prude. Meh.

God no, the DC are always with their father when I go have fun.

Boobooglass, that is of course awful.

What I mean is, why can't my friends understand no strings attached fun , and the worst are those who were anyones after a double gin and tonic (cats bum mouth) before they 'settled down'

I think it's ok to have different attitudes though. I know I couldn't go and shag at will as I just couldn't do it. In that sense, I've had my time doing that when I was younger, it wasn't all that great and I have no desire to do it again. I know that for me, when I was more up for a one night stand, it was because I had very little respect. In a way I envy people who can do it,you must be very secure in yourself.

Oh very much so, and it is never 'just a shag'.

I was with my ex from being 15 years old to late twenties so at first there was some elemen of trying to get what I'd missed out on.

if you keep your kids out of it, practice safe sex and don't take silly risks, I think you should just get on with it

what is it to do with them ?

stop talking about i if their judgement bothers you, although I would be tempted to spice it up even further and really get their heads swivelling

For me, it really was just a shag. It was a way to release some tension/steam. I have a high-ish sex drive and being single (granted, I was childfree and young and attractive when I was single) meant I often enough went for trouble-free, uncomplicated sex because I fancied a screw and just that.

When I got to the point where I could not have sex just for sex, I stopped engaging with casual partners. If I were out and got picked up, I'd make that clear to whoever it was.

Honesty, communication, and openness between consenting adults is the way to go, always.

expat, you articulated my thoughts exactly so thanks for that.

Interestingly the only voices of dissent are those married ones, maybe their own insecurities?

what "married ones"

your RL friends ?

WHile it's probably easier and more convenient to confine your shagging fun to away fixtures or nights when DC are staying with your XP or relatives or friends, I don't get the huge problem with introducing a casual date to DC, myself. You don't need to tell the DC that you've been shagging the person, and in which positions. And obviously you shouldn't introduce new partners as 'Uncle [x]' or 'Your new daddy', but what's wrong with DC seeing that Mummy has various friends? And that sometimes these friends have sleepovers?

Yeah, be they actually married, almost married or desperately seeking such.....

Well as a 'married one' I couldn't give a toss who you're bonking

moomoofarm!

Bloody glad to hear it hahaha

I am married too...I thought you meant "marrieds" on this thread

good luck to you, I say

I don't agree with strange men sleeping over though, when your kids are there