Do you argue in front/in ear shot of the children??

[threecurrantbuns]

This is something i swore i would never do (pre-parent)

But is not something ive achieved. Dont get me wrong it isnt a regular thing but does happen occasionally and when it does its usually a arguement on the worse end of the spectrum and its going round in my head at the time to gain control and stop but i dont always succeed.

Then i feel such an awful mummy afterwards

Someone else as said to me its unhealthly for children to never hear arguing/shouting as it is part of life and if they never experience they wont be able to cope with it whne they need to...not sure i agree although i can see the logic sort of

yes

it is healthy for children to realise that the adults in their family can argue, make up and still love each other afterwards

you're thinking about it too much

kids should not be brought up in a sterile bubble - which includes germs and emotional

We don't really argue anyway; by some miracle DH is about the only person in the universe who doesn't wind me up!

I don't think we've ever had a 'shouting' argument at all, but we do niggle at each other, and in front of the children sometimes, but it's never worse than that. I think it would be pretty disturbing for them to see their parents ripping into each other - my parents rarely argued but they had one or two real humdingers I can remember and it really frightened me.

BTW three I agree that it's not a bad thing to hear arguing, but only if it doesn't get too shouty and/or nasty (as in name calling and personal insults).

Yeah, squabble constantly. But we hug too. Just part of family life.

Wouldn't do it over anything really serious though.

My parents used to have full blown screaming, shouting, "I hate you, I'm leaving you, getting a divorce" etc rows. Sometimes these would be followed by one storming out, or my mother packing us up and heading to my granny's. My dad would express disappointment to us that we were going too, but we were only tiny.

Each row has stuck with me through to adulthood, I remember desperately pleading with them to stop, for one of them to apologise, not to divorce etc. I was desperate for them to be happy, they often sat us down and said they were divorcing and we'd need to decide where to live etc.

They're still together.

Made a pledge to never do that to my children, I felt far too involved and responsible for their happiness and it had a lasting effect.

i think if there's alot of love in your house, the occasional shouty argument is alright.

i remember my grandparents arguments rather fondly as they were so dramatic- even in their nineties, they were still flinging insults across the room from their armchairs... they were a strong couple though and it was their way of dealing with things.

my parents on the other hand had the drama, the bag packing etc but in between arguments, there was such a lack of obvious affection/intimacy so their arguing and subsequent tension left us feeling insecure rather than amused.