Arguing more now baby is here

[RoxyLady]

My baby is two weeks old and my partner and I are arguing constantly since she arrivrd. Every little thing he freaks out over. Our baby is having problems breathing (we got saline drops which worked) and we are both stressed because sleep is so disturbed. Boyf is getting 7 hours but I'm only getting about 4 and I'm tryin to sleep in the day.
He speaks to me so rudely and I find myself saying at least 4 times a day "don't talk to me like that" He is really stressing out over every little cough or snort. I'm sick of it. Its making me quite weepy now and on top of no sleep and baby not settling at night I feel like im on a downward spiral. Boyf apologises but does it again a couple of hours later.

Anyone??

rub your ear lobes and take a deep breath in. on the breath out say 'wooooosaaaaah'

if he says something about a cough - tell him to take her to the docs or shut the fuck up

oh and relationships are impossible for ages after you have a baby - dont believe any of this utopian bullshit you might see in the media

Please don't worry RoxyLady. Neither of you are getting much sleep so everything can seem out of proportion. I argued a lot with my DH after my DD was born - we irritated the hell out of each other .

It does get better!

RoxyLady, DP and I had the toughest year of our relationship after DD was born. We had counselling and very nearly broke up.

There were other issues of course but the lack of sleep and total life change of having a baby really took it's toll on us. It didn't start straight away but it was a tough year. But we stuck through it and we have adjusted and started working more as a team now. DD is now two and we are expecting number 2!!

I don't have much advice except talk things through and speak as nicely to each other as possible. Hopefully for you it will pass more quickly but I know a lot of people who found it tough and mostly we felt the men weren't pulling their weight enough. Good luck and enjoy your DD, the first few weeks fly by.

yes very common. You both need to dig deep...i hope that he sees the light

Congratulations on your baby!
But poor you...It's so hard adjusting to the lack of/no sleep, and the stress that you're both feeling is very hard to cope with. Good communication was the first thing to go when i went through the early months with both my dc. But it was a shocker with the first. I could have written your post. But please understand that nearly every relationship goes through a rough patch with their first child. Be sure to speak to your HV if she's due soon, if not, then your GP; I assume you're not getting any support from family/friends through the day for whatever reason.
It will get easier. And in the meantime be gentle with yourself and with your bf. A lot of the time you're going to have to be the one to bear the brunt of it all, especially if your bf is doing the earplugs at night thing so that he can concentrate during the day at work. Not an excuse for his rudeness, when he should be doing his best to show you sensitivity to help you recover from the birth.
When you're up to it, get out and meet some mums. Then you can be with other sleep deprived people who know exactly what you're going through. The first child is a huge shock to the system mentally, physically and emotionally. Hang in there.

and what everyone says... much more succinctly than me

Oh and on a practical note, this might sound a bit basic but I used to find myself getting really annoyed that (particularly because I was bfeeding) I would do the lion's share of looking after DD and then in the evening I would cook, bath DD etc and then come downstairs to the kitchen full of washing up.

Now I do things like say: "Would you prefer to bath DD or wash-up?" So he realises I'm not going to do both but he gets to pick! This might not help you in your situation and actually it became an issue more after I went back to work but it could help.