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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

friendships

4 replies

alysb · 27/02/2011 20:41

some one who i thought was a good friend and colleague has made me question myself and my judgement, i'm not sure that i am being over sensitive? i worked with him for 5 years - we are both married with children with no suggestion of anything untoward, although S is very affectionate and effusively affectionate verbally - lots of 'love you' type stuff. i have never considered this to be anything other than his normal behaviour as he behaved in the same way to other colleagues (male and female). He ledt our work place at the end of december. on christmas day he sent a lovely happy christmas text to me and my family which i returned and signed off with the words 'love you' as he had with his - directing it to the whole S family. he and his 2 children have previously stayed at my home with my husband and children present and we all had a great time.
later on christmas day i got a text from his wife which said 'do not text my husband love you' i was extremely annoyed and insulted as having previously accommodated her children and husband, sent may gifts of clothes and home made garden produce - jams etc. having managed to get my head round the situation and decided that it was his call to contact if he wished (on the advice of my husband and eldest daughter which were equally cross and confused by the text) i have recently found out that S has 'called' into work accessed the office server and copied my files for use at his new job while i was on annual leave. am i a total mug? i am very very mad.

OP posts:
HorseWhisperer · 27/02/2011 21:27

Yes, I think your DH and DD were right to advise you to leave it, do not get drawn into other people's drama. As to accessing your work server - surely that is illegal?

alysb · 28/02/2011 17:07

yes I think it probably is but my line manager was unaware that he was accessing my area of the server. thanks - i think i need to mark it upto experience and move on

OP posts:
talleyrand · 28/02/2011 17:35

I am on the side of S's wife - sending a text to someone saying you love him is very full on.

BTW

  • 'lots of love to all the family' = normal and harmless
  • 'love you' = personal and significant
BelleBelicious · 28/02/2011 18:08

I agree with talleyrand. If my DH got an 'i love you' text from a woman on Christmas day, I wouldn't be best pleased.

Even if you meant it innocently, it wasn't very well considered. Given her reaction, he may well have history. He doesn't sound particularly trustworthy.

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