NEED TO GUESSTIMATE AGE OF A BABY - wish it was for a pleasant reason, sadly not.............

[subterfuge]

I've tried to work this out myself but am in too much of a state to think clearly.

I have reason to believe my father (in his 70's) may have a child he is trying to keep quiet .

There are nappies at his house for a 22 to 35lb baby - anyone out there able to think more clearly than me and identify the possible age range of the child?

There is no point in asking him about it by the way as he will deny everything. I haven't got time to camp outside his house either.

I've got a few other bits of info and I need to start piecing it all together.

I would very much appreciate help with this. I'm a regular mumsnetter, but can't possibly do this under my usual name.

Help!

Report to social services.

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No other signs of a baby - I don't know where she lives now (she moved from the house she shared with her children when her previous partner took them with him), but it's somewhere near to my Dad.

I could be putting 2 and 2 together, then coming up with 7, but I don't think so. If I ask him straight out, he will of course lie, he has always had difficulty establishing truth from fiction. A couple of months ago, he said something very strange to my sister, along the lines of "My neighbour told me that X (young woman in question) had a miscarriage because of all the drugs she was taking".

He brought this up out of the blue, and we are beginning to wonder if he was trying to cover his tracks.

Sorry, I think this a difficult thing for anyone to give any perspective on, but it's all going round in my head endlessly.

Ringing social services may be premature because I have no definite proof about him/her and the child.

I'm thinking I'll just stay away for good, but as dh points out, if there is a child (and he thinks things are pointing that way) then it may be vulnerable.

Oh, there are quite a lot of toys there, but they are ones that I've left over time for my children to play with when we have visited.

ARE you sure they are not for him like esarlier posts suggest????????

No Kanga, definitely not.

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oke doke

He'll make up some silly story - I won't get the truth out of him.

I really don't know what to do - would like it all to go away.

subterfuge, if there is a child, as you think, this child is your sibling, and you have a duty towards it. a mentally unstable 70 year old dad, and a drug addicted mom arent exactly a brilliant coombination.
talk to your health visitor, and she could investigate.

so if they are both that mentally unstable, then stitch is right, you have a duty (if there is a baby!)
It is very hard to have a baby and not register the birth, so there must be a record of it somewhere. could the registry office give you some information? birth info not secret, anyone can get a birth certificate I think.

He's actually my stepdad, but the only father I have known since the age of 3. He's my sister's (half sister, strictly speaking) biological father.

It is possible to check births with the area registry office, as long as you have a name and date. Unfortunately I don't have her surname (did have on a piece of paper, which I threw away when he said he had finished things - silly me). If my dad is registered as the father, I could check via his name, but it's still vague as I don't know the age of the child.

This all sounds completely bonkers tbh.

no, its perfectly possible.
social services would be able to check for you on those details if you told them your worries.

Can I do this anonymously? She has put two bricks and a garden chair through my Dad's windows - I don't want her targeting me and my own family.

Wow - what a nightmare for you subterfuge, it's not going to help you if the child was born after 2003 but if anyone else needs to find things out like this (births, marriages & deaths) try this site www.1837online.com

It's a fantastic website for researching recent stuff or ancestry.

Anyone re ringing social services? I have no surname or address for her. I know her previous address and first name though. Social services were heavily involved with her (all previous children were on the "at risk" register), so I assume they could trace her that way.

I cannot risk her finding out that I have called them though - she is violent and unpredictable.

If SS are already involved with her, then they will know about this new child. You could get in touch just to say that you think you are the baby's half sister and would like to be involved in it's welfare. Then if things go wrong and the baby needed to be put into foster care, they would get in contact with you.

Subterfuge - A few points to make here.

1. You're post saying you and your siter thought you'd convinced him the relationship was a bad idea. Well he's an adult.... and a MAN.... and a 20-something yr old girl is showing him interest, sorry but nothing his daughters could say would stop him!!

2. It you are implying that you have found crack (crystals in foil) cocaine in your Dads house then that is incredibly serious! If she is a crack addict she will be taking it in front of the child. You need to report that.

3. HOWEVER... if she has already had 3 kids taken off her then wouldn't the social services have followed her whole pregnancy with this one and therefore either taken this child away from her or assessed her as capable of looking after the baby?

4. If I was in this situation I'd definitely want to know..... but I'd also want to help make that wee child life a bit better if the Mum is using Crack.

Not much help I know.... but thought I'd post my thoughts.

Hiya Sub - Sorry you are in such a horrible situation. Definately ring social services. Just tell them what you have told us and that you are not 100% certain of a child she may have with your Father but regardless of that, little crystals in tinfoil is crack cocaine so she shouldn't have her other children there anyway. I'm pretty certain they will understand you don't want her to know it's you and will keep you anon while it is investigated.
Hope you manage to get something sorted.

Hi just because social services have been involved before doesnt always follow that tehy will know about her whereabouts now.
sadly we ( im a semi qualified sw) are incredibly understaffed and if her children have all been removed and placed then her fiel will be pretty much closed now.
unless she comes to their attention again.
also if she has moved since her last dealings with them then they wont necessarily have been flagged when she had teh child....sadly the system is far from perfect.

If you have any suspicions that a child is in tehhouse tehn you MUST call SS. you can do it entirely confidentially you wont even need to leave your name. simpley explain that you beleive a child to be living or at least visiting there and you are concerned for their safety due to A) the mental instability and B) the evedence of drug taking.

in the meantime i would steer clear. you have done all you can. if you do feel you want to know what is going on you can always give your details to SS ( they still wont say who rang them) and they will let you know what happens.

i hope you manage to either get this sorted or simply find out you were wrong, hopefully the latter as teh former does not bear thinking about