In praise of my MIL

[roseability]

I don't know why I felt inspired to write this and I know many of you struggle with horrible MILs. However I had abusive and horrible adoptive parents who I have very little contact with so my ILs are very special to me

My MIL raised four children and my dh is a credit to her - a wonderful husband and father

She doesn't intefere but will offer good, sound advice if it is sought

She has supported me through PND (with my firstborn) and struggling to come to terms with my abusive childhood. She would watch my children while I went away for counselling and never judged me

She frequently tells me what a good job I am doing

She is always welcoming with a cup of tea, a chat by the fire and often homemade treats

At the moment she has the kids so that I can get a break and a haircut

She buys me very generous and thoughtful birthday/christmas gifts and is wonderful with my kids (although she does spoil them a little too much!)

I don't know what I would do without her and although nothing will completely replace a loving mother of my own, she comes a very close second

*Hallelujah" Roseability. What a wonderful post and as a MIL myself it was especially welcome. Don't know if I match the standards of your MIL but I try very hard. It was such a welcome change from the usual MIL threads, though some of these older women do sound horrendous.

So come on dils, let's hear it for nice MILS!

Can son-in-laws join in?

I'd like to praise my mother-in-law for coming all the way from Poland on her own for weeks at a time to help with childcare. She's over here at the moment and is looking after our son during half-term so we can go to work without having to pay for extra Nursery sessions.

We get on very well in spite of the fact that I don't speak much Polish and she doesn't speak much English. She adores her grandson and he adores her. It's also great for his language development as a bilingual child to have another Polish speaker in the house.

She does argue a bit with her daughter about how to bring up a child. I believe this is fairly normal between mothers and daughters. At least it happens in Polish, so I can tune out

I can't add anything sadly (posted on the nasty MIL one) but Rose, your story made me a bit weepy. What a lovely woman - and you sound really kind too. Maybe you found the mother you deserved in the end.

sadly belle there are a lot of nasty MILs out there but then there are a lot of nasty mothers out there too. I don't think it is anything to do with being a MIL per se, I just think they will have been nasty people to begin with. A shame for you if you are dealing with one

She's not nasty, Rose. Just self-absorbed and a bit difficult/attention seeking. I had a complicated relationship with my own Mum, so I was hoping for a lovely, supportive MIL - a bit like yours, but it wasn't to be.

But anyway, glad you got a lovely MIL, I'm all for them and hope to be one myself one day.

I have an amazing MIL too, and I love her to bits. I know I am very lucky and probably in the minority, but I wouldnt swap her for the world.

In fact on the few occasions when I have considered packing her sons bags, I always think how much she means to me, and know I could never get another like her.

My MIL is also wonderful - calls me the daughter she always wanted and is (unneccesarily) so wary of treading on my toes or interfering with DS. She is fairly faultless as MIL and GP. I hope to be like her

ah yes the self-absorbed, very trying. I am sure you will be a good MIL as you seem aware of those pitfalls

my mil is good and a refreshing change from the slightly claustrophobic relationship I have with my mother
intelligent woman who has never overstepped any perceived marks
difficult
feisty
funny and charming

i couldn't ask for better

Hmmmm boast here ......my ds1 had a lovely girlfriend (although he is only 17) even though they split up his ex gf still visits me and arranges to meet me I truly believe im gonna be a fab MIL (wanders off in happy dust singing lalala)

nickschick - that's lovely.

I have an friend who loved her DS's first girlfriend. They went out from 17 - 23. She was devastated when they broke up - and it was a horrible break up, so the gf stayed away. She said it was like losing a daughter.

I may have spoken in hates ......shes been to see me this evening on her way out and took the bloomin ear rings out of me ears lol .....they 'went' with her outfit .

hates??? **haste

My lovely MIL died almost three years ago, only two years after my mother. Both died suddenly and far to soon.

She and I, despite being very different people had a fantastic relationship, wonderful laughs and great times over the years.

She never interfered, was a fantastic Granny and a huge support (my DS is disabled).

I left her DS nine years ago and despite his complaints and threats at the time, she remained my dear friend and MIL. She supported both of us and refused to give in to his bullying at the time.

Of course time moved on and both XH and I supported each other through the loss of our DMS.

I think of her and miss her every day.

I have a lovely, considerate MIL. She is a very strong and principled woman and yet she never judges others who do not have her strength of character or conviction. She always has the time to help others. Her 87 year old neighbour can still live at her own home only because my kind MIL will check on her and help her out every day.

She spoils me as if I was her own daughter - cooks my favourite food and fattens me up every single time I see her. She will quietly clean my shoes and wash and iron my clothes if we stay over for the weekend.

She trusts me with her secrets and I love being able to benefit from her experience.

The best thing is, I feel loved by her. I know she will be a wonderful GM when I have my PFB in a few weeks time.

I love my mum and my MIL. I know how fortunate I am from the reaction I get from others when I mention that my MIL is staying (especially when both mum and MIL came to stay while I was in hospital having DS1 - people were horrified ).

MIL is fantastic - have to guard against taking advantage of her wonderful good nature and helpfulness (like getting up with the children however early they wake up). I keep telling her that I want to turn our garage into a granny flat (she thinks I'm joking). She does tend to buy too much chocolate for the children but I just eat it all after she has gone .

Great thread