so he is clearly enmotionally abusive and has been physically abusive in the past? i think you have a clear case of being abused.
don't make a show of leaving, it does need to be planned,. there are some domestic abuse tips right at the top of this page underneath the title - have a read
you then need to check www.entitledto.com
then contact shelter here to discuss with you your housing options, they hopefully will confirm what i have said about getting this man evicted.
you will at least have the home in a couple of months.
you need to think about finances carefully, what debt you have and whose name it is in. in your position i would try and get anything that is in my name converted to his - obviously with his consent - you will have to think of a story as to why - to make this happen.
you should also where possible put some money away - even if its just a couple of quid here and there, your'll be greatful of it later.
you should also start packing essential things and if you're anything like me, you will have suitcases on top of a wardrobe or in a cupboard that no one touches unless theres a holiday - so fill them with essentials, socks, knickers, toothbrush, hairbrush, spare school uniform, clothes for both of you that kind of thing.
now when i left, i waited til he went to work - i had a car fortunatley, and i got a big box and took all the food with me, took a small telly, iron etc.
you also need to get documents together, borth certificates ans passports, it is almost impossible to apply for anything without proof of id these days. also get copies of bills.