Dh and I "separated" in April. It had been coming for a while although it happened in unpleasant circumstances and dh instigated it. Since we have been living separately we've remained a couple. The children have been fine with this (as far as I can tell). In fact ds has learnt that he can use this to his advantage!
When dh moved out it was a 'temporary' arrangement. He'd been looking to move out behind my back and I found out accidentally so tbh I expected him to finish the relationship with in a short space of time having moved out. Since then we have bounced from ok to bad and back again and have even had some time of feeling positive. We've been going to relate and we now get regular time together but imo nothing has changed. I still, months later, feel insecure, taken for granted and unloved - well, not unloved but no longer loved in the way he once loved me. Maybe that is the point. Dh has decided he wants us to remain in seperate homes (for the foreseeable future) and I just feel hurt and unable to move on. Living separately functions practically (I was a single mum for a long time previously). However, emotionally, I am a mess.I constantly analyse everything which is emotionally hard work for both of us. DH says he loves me & I do love him. but it's just not the same as it was and what relate has shown me is that if there are things that dh can no longer give me that I need then we are going no where and I need to end it in order to move on. The thought of him not being in my life just feels so sad and so wrong. I feel like I am losing my best friend (hence why I am on here rather than talking to rl friends). I don't want to imagine it but we can't go on like this. I have told him that if things don't change that is it. We talk regularly and dh has said that he doesn't want to lose me but doesn't know that he can do the things I am asking of him. I don't think I am being unreasonable. Friends and family largely think he wants his cake and eat it and think - generally - I should have dumped him months/years ago. Any advice would be appreciated.