I feel like a bloody spare part!!

[Bossanova]

DH has just taken dd to school. Nothing wrong with that you might think, but it just seems that since he has been unemployed he has just taken over the whole 'getting dd ready for school' thing. I just feel so stupid for getting upset about it but I'm a SAHM and it has been MY job for so long it feels like it has been taken away. I realise that he enjoys doing it, probably thinks he is helping, hasn't had much chance before etc. We have all gone to drop her off together at times but I feel just as much a spare part with me and ds running along behind, it's like 'why bother'? I got ds up this morning and then it's kind of sit around with nothing to do until dd needs her hair doing. That's about the only thing left for me to do. Am I being a stupid old bag who should be grateful for a dh actually doing something useful or what? Rant over!

I am in completely the opposite position. My husband leaves the house at between 6:30 and 7:00 so I am the one that has to get ds1 and ds2 up and ready to take ds1 to school at 8:30.
Three days a week I work so we have to be up and out by 8:00. Most mornings it is an absolute nightmare - there is always the last second nappy change for ds2 or some book/PE kit item that HAS to be found. I would love a hand in the mornings.
I suggest you have a cup of tea and a leisurely breakfast and make the most of the situation. Maybe if you told your dh how you felt you could take it turns. He probably feels like he is trying to make up for all the times he wasn't there. And I don't think you're being stupid at all.

Bossanova I dont think you are being silly but I would milk it for all I could.
I have recently got a job as a barmaid and I work nights until around 1am. Only a night or two a week but I have to be up at 6.30am to get ds2 ready for school and sort the other kids out.I am absolutely shattered.
ps can we swap dh's for a bit.Only joking. Yours sounds like a gem

Bossanova make the the most of it, I bet your dd is loving it isnt she? I dont think you're being silly but some of us would love the help

Blimey Bossanova, I should stay in bed and catch up on some sleep if I were you.

I'm sure once dh goes back to work you will wish he was there helping out again!

I don't think you're being silly though, sometimes I feel a bit like that about my nanny.

I know how you feel! Dd has just started school and dp gets her breakfasted and dressed befor leaving for work, he also gets ds dressed. I too feel like a spare part most mornings, I would stay in bed a bit longer but ds will only eat breakfast if I feed it to him (lazy toad) so I have to get up and muddle around kind of getting in the way.

Dd loves the extra time spent with daddy though and so does ds.

When dd was at pre-school I did it all as she didn't go until the afternoon so getting dressed befor 9 was only done on occasions.

I try to enjoy it but it's not easy feeling as though one of your main jobs has been taken away.

Just wanted to say I know exactly what you mean when you say "it's my job". As much as I would love an extra few minutes in bed or some help in the morning, DH works shifts of alternate lates and earlies, when he is here I still do about 90% of it all as it's just part of my day and if it's not done my way ie RIGHT then it's all wrong. Oh dear....that sounds awful, maybe I should chill ot abit and let DH do it his way.

My ds was made redundant a few year ago and spent 4 months at home - it was wonderful! I had lots of lie-ins and got to do all the DIY jobs I wanted and went out shopping and did not have to be back in time for school and childminders. But I am not very mumsy so for me it was perfect. I don't think you're being silly at all.

I think your dh may be filling his boots with fatherhood while he can. The chances are he will be back at work sooner or later and struggling to see his ds from Mon-Fri and it sounds like he is all too aware of how precious this little hiatus is.

I also think he is probably doing it to give you a break. I think he is being loving to you both and although it may not be what you really want, it is done with kindness and it sure as hell beats the opposite attitude of leaving you without a helping hand at any time.

Ooh Bossanova, I'd make the most of it too! In fact I do - if dp finishes work early/has a day off it's acknowledged that he collects ds and/or drops him. So I stayed in bed til 10.30 this morning!

Ooh Bossanova, I'd make the most of it too! In fact I do - if dp finishes work early/has a day off it's acknowledged that he collects ds and/or drops him. So I stayed in bed til 10.30 this morning!