Couples work, anger management, mediation and restorative justice are not appropriate responses to men?s abusive behaviour to women.
Any response to domestic violence must acknowledge the real and often fatal dangers present in bringing the victim and offender together. A relationship defined by violence, control, threats and an imbalance of power must not be subject mediation, couple work or restorative justice. Anger management is also not appropriate in domestic violence cases because domestic violence is not caused by a problem with anger, or a loss of control. It is chosen intentional behaviour designed to exert power and control over another.
Such interventions imply a position of equality and of equal bargaining power between two parties and supports the abuser?s view that he is not entirely responsible for stopping his violence. It also creates the illusion of a safe space. Yet fear is a significant factor influencing the behaviour and decisions made by women experiencing domestic violence.
Domestic violence is characterised by an imbalance of power so any intervention that encourages mediation or seeks to deny the abuser?s responsibility for their violence will result in further attempts to manipulate, dominate and threaten the woman experiencing domestic violence. Women will inevitably not be able to participate or speak freely and may be subject to very subtle signals (such as a particular look or gesture) that serve as a threat, which often go unnoticed by a third party. There is a very real danger that perpetrators might use these processes to maintain power and control over their victims, divert themselves from criminal justice sanctions and avoid taking responsibility for their own actions.
Family members, through mediation, can also apply pressure to prolong and condone the violence, for example by using powerful cultural notions such as ?honour? and ?shame? to enforce compliance. There is a danger that family members may also be victim-blaming in their approach and support the actions and justifications of the perpetrator, instead of supporting and empowering women and children.