Dreams after relationship ended

[longweight]

I have just split up with someone who i had been seeing for just a couple of months. It was nothing heavy but very enjoyable up until a week ago when there was a sudden change in him, he stopped calling/texting unless it was a reply to a direct question or i called him.

I let things hang for a week of this, he was abroad training so put it down to being busy. Two days after he got home i still hadnt heard from him so i called him, he acted very normal but mentioned in passing doing work on his stb exw new house and that coupled with his recent disinterest figured things between them wasnt quite over/settled. I didnt have the guts to say anything over the phone so sent him a message shortly after saying that I'd picked up that he was losing interest in us/needed some space so wouldnt be calling him again. He didnt reply to this.

I feel slightly shitty i did this by text but i wasnt going to be able to see him for at least another week and didnt want to leave it hanging.

This was five days ago now and since I have been having really explicit dreams about him every night. Its driving me crazy as it was a nice little fling but nothing worthy of these crazy dreams.

Ah I'm sorry longweight, I remember your lengthy thread at the beginning of the relationship
I think it's a very normal thing actually, it' your mind trying to process what's happened. He's a bit of an arse to not respond, I wonder if talking face to face would give you proper closure? (I hate that phrase but I can see that you might feel left hanging a bit, if he's going to offer no explination). BUT look on this as experience. You were so nervous before, and he thought you were amazing. Take that confidence and use it to your advantage :)

Thanks boo, it did confuse me slightly going from hot to cold, maybe it is the 'closure' thing. I have deleted his number from my phone as i was out with the girls the following day and worried in case it seemed a good idea to call him once I had a few drinks. I am glad i deleted it, i know it would be the wrong thing to get back in contact.

I hope the dreams stop soon, he is much better in these than he was in reality so its skewing my perspective!

I think you could have at least talked to him about it. I would want an explanation just to feel OK about it. Closure, like Boo says, is important I think. And don't you deserve a grown up conversation about it rather than it just getting all game playing-y?

I also remeber the original thread. How long has he been separated?

BTW I meant that it was him playing games, not you.

It would irritate me that he avoided having a conversation about it, and just gave you backing off vibes. Fair enough after a few dates, but this was a couple of months wasn't it??

Wiley it was a couple of months we had been dating. He had started proceedings with his wife last summer but they continued to live in the same house until it was sold the week after christmas and they both moved into new seperate properties so immediately after they started living apart.

When i spoke to him i did mention not having heard from him for a while and he started giving excuses etc, i was embarrassed by this. He was still talking on the phone as normal/keen/little innuendo but something had changed and he definitely was not initiating contact at all which was a big change in his behaviour. He had mentioned rowing with his ex and that she wanted him back, i had said that if he felt there was the slightest chance they could work it out I didnt want to be involved and he had said there was none, they had split/got back so many times this time they had sold up and would never go back.

I always made it clear that i hated game playing and would be upfront with things so him not admitting this change of heart irritates me. I have no desire to be with someone who isn't that into me so frustrated that i am dreaming of him which makes me think of him more.