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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

DP's on amateur websites...I feel sick.

38 replies

UndercoverMner · 22/02/2011 11:40

I've had to namechange. I feel too stupid to admit who I am, plus I know a few MNers in RL.

I've just found a few memberships to some adult friend sites. You know the ones. Tacky home movies, pictures messages to meet. The usual stuff.
He's been messaging people for almost the whole of our relationship (almost 3 years). Sending pictures of his cock with Only for 'Dani' written on it. (my god is he 15??)
There are even intimate pictures of us on there.

I had caught him out at the beginning of our relationship doing the same thing. I thought we had talked it through and moved past it. Obviously not.

Someone help me before I either kill him or do something to myself.
(Don't worry. I'm not suicidal. Haven't been for a while but the urge to self harm is frightenly high right now.)

Ask any questions you like. I will answer all honestly.

OP posts:
ChippingInNeedsCoffee · 23/02/2011 16:19

How are you doing today?

NanaNina · 23/02/2011 21:33

Undercover MN - I do think like all others on here that this is a horrid thing to happen. Does he know that you know, if so, what is his reaction. If not, why wouldn't you have told him.

Thing is in these kind of circumstances, everyone piles in with "get out of the relationship" etc etc and it is so easy to say that, tapping away on a computer and knowing nothing about you or him. I think MN is great but so many people make so many assumptions. Often the OP disappears as I think they may not want to end the r/ship but for the behaviour that is unacceptable to stop. is that howit is for you? Your P sounds immature really, as you say, more like a 15 year old.

Have you have a chance to talk to him about this and how it has made you feel. Be good to know your reaction?

googoomama · 23/02/2011 21:39

Poor you. I feel sick reading this. You need to get the pictures of you off this website asap.

tribpot · 23/02/2011 21:47

How awful for you :(

Please don't self-harm, you would be punishing the wrong person. Look after yourself and remember if you need to phone someone Samaritans are there.

Overthewine · 23/05/2022 22:03

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

Pashazade · 23/05/2022 22:11

Zombie thread.....

Opaljewel · 24/05/2022 08:24

Surely it's illegal he has shared op's explicit pics without her consent? Report him. Take screenshots

Opaljewel · 24/05/2022 08:24

Pashazade · 23/05/2022 22:11

Zombie thread.....

Oh bloody hell didn't see date. Why do they resurrect these?

Thesefeetaremadeforwalking · 24/05/2022 08:42

I'm sorry this has happened to you OP.

I had caught him out at the beginning of our relationship doing the same thing. I thought we had talked it through and moved past it. Obviously not.

These activities can be addictive, unfortunately.
If you have a relationship with a person that has an addiction, there will always be 3 of you in that relationship and the addiction will take priority over you.

Be very, very glad that you didn't marry this guy.

He might be guilty of Revenge Porn, so I would suggest you take advice on that issue.

assets.publishing.service.gov.uk/government/uploads/system/uploads/attachment_data/file/405286/revenge-porn-factsheet.pdf

Thesefeetaremadeforwalking · 24/05/2022 08:43

Just seen the date of this thread, so the law about Revenge Porn would not have been passed at the time it was written.

My comments apply now though...

MrsElm · 24/05/2022 08:45

This reply has been deleted

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

@Overthewine why would you post this on a thread which is 11 years old? 🤔

dworky · 24/05/2022 09:38

The only thing you need to do is leave him.
You can't trust him despite giving him a chance.

misskatamari · 24/05/2022 12:11

ZOMBIE ZOMBIE ZOMBIE ZOMBIE ZOMBIE!!!!!

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