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Erm, what do you reckon? Long sorry

12 replies

Passionkiller · 17/10/2005 15:53

My usually prefectly reasonable DH made me so cross last night that I'm now not talking to him - well apart from politely when strictly nec IYSWIM.

Background is that every week I have a bit of an issue with the fact he has to have scrapheap challenge on, not that he want's to watch it so much as the fact that it's on just when the DD's would be best settled in front of a DVD or video for quiet time. Every week I bite my tongue until the girls start kicking off (cos they're too tired to play and it's too early to send them to bed)and then I mention that just perhaps they wouldn't be driving us mad if they could watch the TV.

Anyway last night DH said "by the way I'm taking the computer back to work tomorrow cos I'm fed up with you ignoring the DD's while on mnet and telling me off for doing the same thing cos I want to watch scapheap chall".

To my credit I remained completely calm, (even though I was seeing red!)and said that that was the most perthetic thing I'd ever heard and that I would just borrow DM's computer anyway. I couldn't post last night cos I was just too angry at him treating me like a kid.

Anyway he didn't take the computer this morning but I'm still furious cos the computer isn't the point, the fact the he thought he could punish me for saying something he didn't like and treat me like one of the kids is what I don't think I can forgive at the mo. If he doesn't appologise I don't think I'll ever feel quite the same about him again!

Am I overreacting?

OP posts:
marthamoo · 17/10/2005 16:08

Tbh, you both sound pretty unreasonable

I assume from your post that Scrapheap Challenge is only on once a week - that's not a lot to ask, and your dds can learn the lesson that they can't watch what they want all the time. Perhaps you could make your dh a deal - that you will keep them occupied (play a quiet game, read books) while he watches his programme in peace and another night he does the same while you do what you want in peace?

Threatening to take the PC away is childish and would piss me off mightily - but it sounds like you've been a bit of a PITA over his favourite programme too. You can't have it both ways - if you want to MN then it's fair he does his own thing too. Bit of give and take, you know? Time to sit down when the kids have gone to bed and talk about how angry his threat made you - but admit that you have been a bit unreasonable too.

Sorry if that's not what you wanted to hear!

Passionkiller · 17/10/2005 16:32

Umm, but it's not always that simple is it? DD's don't watch what they want all the time, in fact they hardly ever watch TV. Only that i've found it helps during the witching hour. I've long since given up ever trying to watch TV when they're about. Also he's is complete arse about a couple of things I like to watch, but that's not the issue.

He is hardly ever home to see the girls during the week so I really don't think it's fair to expect me to keep them entertained while he watches TV at the weekend. Also not really the issue.

What makes me shudder is the controlling nature of the threat Nmet helps to keep me sane when I'm home alone with a TV dinner (Most weeknights)because of his work and related social life, and he knows this.

OP posts:
Mum2girls · 17/10/2005 16:52

My first thought is that you both need your heads banging together . You sound like a couple of kids playing tit-for-tat fgs.

Maybe he should video his programme and you should restrict mn till the kids are in bed....? Anyway, you need to sit down and stop playing silly-buggers with eachother.

footprint · 17/10/2005 16:53

Hi PK,

Sounds like there are much deeper resentments here that aren't to do with a TV programme. Do the two of you need to sit down and have a Talk??

Tortington · 17/10/2005 17:04

simple - he watches his programme - you entertain kids - once a week.

you watch a prog you want to - or mumsnet - he watches kids.

Passionkiller · 17/10/2005 17:14

How am I playing tit-for-tat? I make a comment DH doesn't like and he starts issueing threats. He should have said he didn't like the comment and explained why, we could have left it till bedtime and talked properly about it then. I just feel he's strayed into the realm of the totally unexceptable.

OP posts:
piffle · 17/10/2005 17:19

I must say that dh often watches sky rugby when dd would be better entertained by watching a dvd etc, but ts compromise. its the ony thing he really digs in about, and if he was a complete lazy arse uselss good for ntothing dawg of a man I'd no way stand for it, but if otherwise he'g good and helpful, then ummm its one hour a week pumpkin....
but threatening to take the pc away was prob just a vent as he was feeling all blokily persecuted.
I tend to throw my kids in the bath for that once a week witching hour

Passionkiller · 17/10/2005 17:23

I know what you're all saying but the logistics aren't the issue. Those are easily sorted as you've pointed out.

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Mum2girls · 17/10/2005 18:16

ok PK, understand. I still think it's tit-for tat - you're unhappy about his tv prog, he's unhappy about your computer usage....but anyway.

You both need to move on and to do that, you need to put the kids to bed, turn tv off and talk. Hopefully as he hasn't taken it back to work, his remark about the computer altho it was inflammatory was a heat of the moment thing.

Passionkiller · 17/10/2005 18:52

Have been thinking about what you've been saying and am prepared to cut him a deal. Will keep DD's entertained while his prog is on in exchange for extra hour in bed of a Sun morn.

Will forgive and forget about his comment, but if he says similar again I'll have to take it as evidence of unacceptable neanderthal mindset and take action.

That sound ok to everyone?

OP posts:
Passionkiller · 17/10/2005 21:56

He's just phoned to appologise . an dhas readily agreed to my deal.

Thanks all.

OP posts:
Bugsy2 · 17/10/2005 22:08

Glad its resolved PK. That is a massive result to you - one extra precious hour in bed, simply for keeping children occupied during an hour of telly. Top deal!

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