Hi. I've never posted on here or anywhere before, but having spent some time reading other posts and responses I'm hoping for some open and honest advice. Apologises if it's long and dull.
I am married with a 2 1/2 yr old daughter. I've been married for 5 years and with hubby for 11 years altogether. The situation currently is that we're hardly talking and sleeping in separate rooms. Why? Because I wanted (deliberate past tense) another child. I bought it up, he said he wanted to think about it. A month later I approached him about it and he said " no I don't think so " and that was it. I was a bit stunned and as we were in bed, he rolled over and went to sleep while I stayed silent. I was hoping for more than that but had no idea what to say.
So I left it a few days then approached him again to ask for more details. He was really hesitant in wanting to explain his "no" which made me angry. Partly his not wanting another child but also his lack of understanding that I might need more of a reason for such a decision. We ended up having a bb massive row where he told me I was spoilt, always got my own way and that he'd never wanted kids anyway. He loves our daughter now she's here but was not interested before This came as quite a surprise to me as at the start of mine and hubby's relationship I told him what I wanted up front (marriage & Kids) and that if he didn't then he needed to tell me there and then. Well we're here today because he
He has said "sorry" for the things he's said but that's it. No explanation. Just him at the living room door bb whilst I was watching tv, "I'm sorry for being an idiot I'll make the tea". That's it to this day (7 days). I did say thanks but we still need to talk.
Am I being childish not starting the conversation? I'm struggling to keep smiling in front of my daughter and work colleagues when all I want to do is cry - so know that I'll just burst into tears as soon as I start to talk to him. I've made the decision to move out of our room and he seems fine with that - says "night see you tomorrow" when going To bed and tea every morning.
Is he just being a "man" and hoping I'll not get angry again with him and wishing it would all just go back to the way it was? Any previous relationship I'd have walked away by now but because of my daughter I'm trying to be a bit more mature about this (am I really?)
Giving up typing now as I'm depressing myself. Thanks for reading, but know I sound like an idiot!
Little background. I've suffered from pnd and was scared of getting pregnant so avoided sex for 18 months. We had started to get into the swing of things though I was always wary of doing anything without a condom (got hugely overweight with the pill and an scared of same happening). I still think this wasn't enough for him.
So to sum it all up we're a mum & dad but not a husband & wife. He seems ok with that, but I'm not. We're either a couple or we're not.